1
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:27,918
<i>[quirky music plays]</i>

2
00:00:29,650 --> 00:00:31,341
[traffic hums]

3
00:00:33,654 --> 00:00:35,242
[children chattering]

4
00:00:35,828 --> 00:00:37,244
[train squeaks]

5
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:45,804
[claps]

6
00:00:47,219 --> 00:00:48,738
<i>[screams gleefully]</i>

7
00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:52,052
Look at you. Look at you.

8
00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:55,193
<i>Gorgeous. [chuckles]</i>

9
00:00:59,197 --> 00:01:02,407
115 minutes, four trains.

10
00:01:02,579 --> 00:01:04,650
You're so lucky I
fucking love you.

11
00:01:04,754 --> 00:01:08,758
I am. But also, walking
five blocks this pregnant?

12
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:11,726
It's equal.
- Touche, bitch!

13
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:13,245
<i>Woo! We're doing it.</i>

14
00:01:13,349 --> 00:01:15,005
<i>[music fades]</i>

15
00:01:15,454 --> 00:01:18,492
Hi. Do you have any tickets
available for the 9 a.m.?

16
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:22,392
Yeah, yeah, they all are.
It's Thanksgiving at 9 a.m...

17
00:01:22,841 --> 00:01:26,155
Okay, well, [chuckles]
we'll take two then,

18
00:01:26,258 --> 00:01:29,606
but you can keep the
attitude in the booth.

19
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,332
It's a ritual, man.

20
00:01:31,712 --> 00:01:34,646
We've seen a movie every
Thanksgiving for 27 years.

21
00:01:34,749 --> 00:01:38,063
Traditions of this
caliber don't come by...

22
00:01:38,167 --> 00:01:40,721
Okay, Eden? Can we just get
the tickets so we can sit down?

23
00:01:40,824 --> 00:01:42,032
My back hurts.

24
00:01:42,171 --> 00:01:43,482
You fucked up her back.

25
00:01:43,655 --> 00:01:46,761
You did not fuck up my
back, baby did that.

26
00:01:48,763 --> 00:01:50,834
<i>[Eden] So I had a
crazy night last night.</i>

27
00:01:50,938 --> 00:01:52,181
<i>I'm drinking a hot toddy.</i>

28
00:01:52,698 --> 00:01:54,090
<i>I clocked this other bitch
drinking a hot toddy.</i>

29
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,357
Oh, ew, wait a minute.
My seat is wet.

30
00:01:56,461 --> 00:01:58,877
Ew. Yuck!
- What? Yuck.

31
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,568
So gross.

32
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:03,675
So I see she's drinking a hot
toddy. You know, like your classic.

33
00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,895
So we strike up a
conversation or whatever.

34
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,266
It turns...
- Ew!

35
00:02:08,576 --> 00:02:11,096
This seat is wet, too.
- No.

36
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,754
- Yes. - Gross.
- Yuck.

37
00:02:13,857 --> 00:02:17,171
[laughs] Ew. Okay.

38
00:02:18,517 --> 00:02:21,555
Turns out she's a retired nurse.

39
00:02:21,658 --> 00:02:25,110
And I was like, "What's the most
gruesome death you've ever seen?"

40
00:02:25,214 --> 00:02:26,491
Oh that's a good follow up.

41
00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:28,976
- And she's like...
- Fuck, no.

42
00:02:29,079 --> 00:02:30,633
- What?
- This seat is wet too.

43
00:02:30,736 --> 00:02:32,945
Why does this theater have
so many wet ass seats.

44
00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:34,430
Okay. Is it you, maybe?

45
00:02:34,533 --> 00:02:37,295
Are you possibly the wet factor?

46
00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:39,055
<i>None of my seats have been wet.</i>

47
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:43,853
I mean, maybe it could be me, but
I'm not due for another two weeks.

48
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,613
Can you check?
- Sure.

49
00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:46,717
[groans]

50
00:02:47,753 --> 00:02:48,858
[popcorn crunches]

51
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,241
Let's see.

52
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,966
All right. Nothing...

53
00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,105
- Cool.
- Nothing...

54
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,245
[gasps] A drop.

55
00:02:56,900 --> 00:02:58,039
<i>Another drop.</i>

56
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,972
Okay. All right.

57
00:03:00,076 --> 00:03:04,253
Are you pissing, perchance?
- I don't think I'm pissing.

58
00:03:04,356 --> 00:03:07,048
You know, in the movies,
it's like this 'whoosh'!

59
00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:09,189
But this is just a
light pussy drizzle.

60
00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:11,018
<i>Pussy drizzle,
okay. You know what?</i>

61
00:03:11,121 --> 00:03:12,571
I'm gonna call Doctor Morris.

62
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:13,813
[popcorn crunches]

63
00:03:14,953 --> 00:03:17,956
Two. Emergency.

64
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:20,890
<i>Morris. Okay,
it's ringing now.</i>

65
00:03:20,993 --> 00:03:23,237
Doctor Morris, it's dawn.

66
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,687
Okay. Trickling
is accelerating.

67
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:27,207
It's like, one and a drop
and a one and a drop...

68
00:03:27,379 --> 00:03:29,323
<i>I just need to know if my water
broke or if it's just droplets.</i>

69
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:31,349
It's a... - One and a drop.
- It's a one and a drop.

70
00:03:31,452 --> 00:03:33,572
There's more of a swing to
it: And a one and a drop...

71
00:03:33,627 --> 00:03:36,146
It's a one and a drop
and a one and a drop.

72
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,504
With more of a swing to it.
- Okay it's getting faster. It's triplets now.

73
00:03:38,528 --> 00:03:39,667
Okay. Thank you I got it.

74
00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:41,704
And d-d-drop,
drop-drop-drop-drop.

75
00:03:41,807 --> 00:03:44,016
Thank you, Bobby
McFerrin. Yeah.

76
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:47,468
Okay. Thanks.

77
00:03:50,575 --> 00:03:52,542
So I'm definitely in labor.

78
00:03:53,198 --> 00:03:54,406
[laughs]

79
00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,202
Oh my God.

80
00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:59,353
What should we do? Should
I... Should I hug you?

81
00:03:59,377 --> 00:04:00,777
<i>- No, please don't touch me.</i>
- Okay.

82
00:04:00,930 --> 00:04:02,321
<i>He said I've got to
go to the hospital.</i>

83
00:04:02,345 --> 00:04:03,657
But when I went in with Tommy,

84
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:05,935
It... [sighs] It was 25
hours until he was born.

85
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,627
25 hours of labor, and
I couldn't eat any food.

86
00:04:08,731 --> 00:04:12,804
They just gave me ice chips.
- Okay, what if we bag the movie?

87
00:04:12,907 --> 00:04:16,842
It still counts, our streak
lives, for a last supper of sorts.

88
00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:18,292
I love that.

89
00:04:18,741 --> 00:04:20,156
Oh, yes.

90
00:04:20,329 --> 00:04:21,882
Okay. That's it.
<i>- [fancy music plays]</i>

91
00:04:21,985 --> 00:04:23,825
I would say let me know
if you need anything else,

92
00:04:23,849 --> 00:04:25,644
but this is literally
all the foods we have.

93
00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:28,257
So... [chuckles] - Don't go far,
though. We might need seconds.

94
00:04:28,337 --> 00:04:30,235
Okay, no problem.
And... Oh, I'm sorry.

95
00:04:30,339 --> 00:04:31,661
It looks like you had
a little spill there.

96
00:04:31,685 --> 00:04:33,245
Oh, no no no. That's
just some drippage.

97
00:04:33,411 --> 00:04:34,826
I'm in labor. [laughs]

98
00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:36,828
Congratulations to me.

99
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,589
In the movies, it's like
this monsoon whoosh.

100
00:04:39,693 --> 00:04:41,733
[Dawn] Mh-hm.
- But in real life, it can be trickles.

101
00:04:41,798 --> 00:04:43,949
The water will keep coming.
Don't worry about cleaning it up.

102
00:04:43,973 --> 00:04:47,321
Uh, okay. No, I definitely will need
to tell my boss that just 'cause...

103
00:04:47,425 --> 00:04:49,817
it's fluids and there's people
eating. Who knows what's in the fluid.

104
00:04:49,841 --> 00:04:51,094
[Eden] I don't think
this is gonna end well.

105
00:04:51,118 --> 00:04:52,198
What are you? The Gordon
Ramsay of my pussy?

106
00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:53,085
<i>Get out of here.</i>

107
00:04:53,189 --> 00:04:54,363
Why do you hate women?

108
00:04:54,535 --> 00:04:55,926
I... no...
- I need more chocolate mousse.

109
00:04:55,950 --> 00:04:58,470
I will get that, I just...
- Thank you, bye.

110
00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:01,646
I wonder what
off-Broadway play he's in.

111
00:05:01,749 --> 00:05:03,786
It's like he's never seen
a pregnant person before.

112
00:05:03,958 --> 00:05:06,616
Honestly, you're digging
the vibe up here?

113
00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:09,343
Don't you miss that Dominican
diner? Compared to this place?

114
00:05:10,068 --> 00:05:11,897
Feels a little Stepford.

115
00:05:12,035 --> 00:05:13,209
[groans]

116
00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,315
I don't know, man.
Astoria misses you.

117
00:05:15,522 --> 00:05:18,456
It's calling you. It's
like Don, Don. Where's Don?

118
00:05:19,491 --> 00:05:20,699
[coughs, groans]

119
00:05:21,597 --> 00:05:22,839
Are you good, dude?

120
00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,670
I need you to check my shit.

121
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,913
Oh, my God, you're in
labor. [laughs] I forgot.

122
00:05:29,915 --> 00:05:31,227
Okay. Move the panties, please.

123
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,470
Yeah get in there.

124
00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:34,644
I don't know the medical
term for this, but...

125
00:05:34,748 --> 00:05:37,682
<i>- Yeah?</i>
- Your pussy is opened way the fuck up.

126
00:05:37,785 --> 00:05:39,585
How many centimeters
would way the fuck up be?

127
00:05:39,649 --> 00:05:41,617
Your vagina looks like
it's yawning. Like.

128
00:05:43,550 --> 00:05:46,000
[gasps] Oh my God, call an Uber.

129
00:05:46,104 --> 00:05:47,277
I thought I had more time.

130
00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:48,658
Fuck, I'm still hungry.

131
00:05:51,661 --> 00:05:52,973
Okay, take your time.

132
00:05:53,111 --> 00:05:54,111
It just comes in waves.

133
00:05:55,113 --> 00:05:56,459
[groans]

134
00:06:00,049 --> 00:06:01,499
[yells]

135
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,262
Aren't women amazing?
Birth, miracle.

136
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,919
Enjoy your risotto.

137
00:06:08,091 --> 00:06:09,507
[panting]

138
00:06:09,783 --> 00:06:12,026
Eden, was that loud?
- Mm-mm. - Are you sure?

139
00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:14,073
- Miraculous.
- I feel like everyone's looking at me.

140
00:06:14,097 --> 00:06:18,516
- No, no no no, everyone's in awe.
- [groans]

141
00:06:21,277 --> 00:06:22,451
Thank you.

142
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,660
- Yeah.
- Eden, tip him well.

143
00:06:24,763 --> 00:06:26,696
- Will do.
- Do you want some water?

144
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,249
Yes. I need a sip of water.

145
00:06:28,353 --> 00:06:29,837
[Eden] This is
amazing. The elegance.

146
00:06:29,941 --> 00:06:32,840
[guzzles]

147
00:06:33,013 --> 00:06:36,257
[spits] I don't
need the water.

148
00:06:36,361 --> 00:06:39,571
[jug clanks] Help me! Help me!

149
00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:42,436
<i>Where's the door? Get
the door, open the door!</i>

150
00:06:42,574 --> 00:06:43,748
<i>[music continues]</i>

151
00:06:43,851 --> 00:06:45,128
<i>[screams]</i>

152
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,510
<i>Eden: And that's
New York, baby!</i>

153
00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:50,582
<i>[Liza Minelli - But the
World Goes 'Round plays]</i>

154
00:06:56,139 --> 00:06:57,693
Yes! Got it! Got it!

155
00:06:57,796 --> 00:07:00,040
All right. There you go.
- [shouts, exhales]

156
00:07:00,143 --> 00:07:02,594
Thank you so much. Thank you.
- This is good, this is good.

157
00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:04,527
This is good. We're almost
there. Almost there.

158
00:07:04,631 --> 00:07:06,115
[breathes loudly]
- Almost there.

159
00:07:06,771 --> 00:07:08,818
Oh, you're so good. You are
doing it. You're almost there.

160
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,845
Fuck no, this is not good!
Get me up, get me up.

161
00:07:11,983 --> 00:07:14,503
And now we're standing up. Standing up.
- [groans]

162
00:07:14,606 --> 00:07:16,505
Good, good, good. Okay.
- [panting]

163
00:07:16,608 --> 00:07:18,265
You're doing so good, honey.

164
00:07:18,748 --> 00:07:21,175
Standing up is no good, standing
up... Oh, no. It hurts when I stand!

165
00:07:21,199 --> 00:07:22,442
Let me get on the floor.

166
00:07:22,821 --> 00:07:24,454
- You don't want to do that.
- Yes she does! - Shut up!

167
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,958
- [whines]
- Okay, just do your thing.

168
00:07:25,997 --> 00:07:27,826
You're doing so good,
what you're doing.

169
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,483
It's so gross.

170
00:07:29,587 --> 00:07:30,898
<i>[Eden] Okay.</i>

171
00:07:31,278 --> 00:07:32,866
Eyes on your own paper. Scram!

172
00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:34,039
[yells]

173
00:07:34,246 --> 00:07:35,292
Okay. We're taking it for you.

174
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:36,766
It is so hot, it is so hot!

175
00:07:38,561 --> 00:07:40,218
Alright, okay.
<i>- [cries]</i>

176
00:07:40,321 --> 00:07:41,564
Here we go.

177
00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:44,118
I don't want to give birth
in the lobby. [yells]

178
00:07:45,603 --> 00:07:47,570
<i>I don't want this
to be my journey.</i>

179
00:07:47,743 --> 00:07:49,607
You never seen a
bad bitch crawl?

180
00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:50,884
<i>[music continues]</i>

181
00:07:51,125 --> 00:07:53,024
<i>And... Just gonna
get the elevator.</i>

182
00:07:53,127 --> 00:07:55,682
Ignore me. Sorry
to be in your way.

183
00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:57,718
[pants]
- Here we go.

184
00:07:59,340 --> 00:08:00,825
[groaning]

185
00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:05,864
<i>[music drowns out dialogue]</i>

186
00:08:08,073 --> 00:08:09,937
[groaning, yelling]

187
00:08:11,111 --> 00:08:12,181
[elevator dings]

188
00:08:14,148 --> 00:08:15,148
Okay.

189
00:08:15,633 --> 00:08:18,014
Woo! Here we go!

190
00:08:18,325 --> 00:08:20,051
I need to go to
the fourth floor.

191
00:08:20,154 --> 00:08:22,640
Fourth floor, please.
Thank you so much.

192
00:08:23,675 --> 00:08:24,952
[yelling continues]

193
00:08:26,851 --> 00:08:29,163
Congratulations.
- Thank you.

194
00:08:29,267 --> 00:08:30,267
[elevator dings]

195
00:08:31,856 --> 00:08:33,547
<i>[music continues]</i>

196
00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:36,585
[yelling]

197
00:08:37,033 --> 00:08:39,484
She's gonna have your
freckles. Oh my...

198
00:08:39,588 --> 00:08:42,004
I am so proud of you.
- Don't touch me.

199
00:08:42,107 --> 00:08:43,177
Okay.

200
00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:44,869
Hold my hand. [cries]

201
00:08:44,972 --> 00:08:47,250
- You got it.
- Great Dawn, you're doing great.

202
00:08:47,354 --> 00:08:48,976
- You got this.
- I'm dynamic.

203
00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,771
You're dynamic. Tell
her she's dynamic.

204
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:52,980
<i>- [groans]</i>
- Oh, you are so strong.

205
00:08:53,498 --> 00:08:56,225
Do you smell that? There's
a terrible smell happening.

206
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:57,709
That's a good smell.

207
00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:00,401
We can't possibly be
smelling the same thing.

208
00:09:00,505 --> 00:09:03,577
Oh my God. Oh my God, I
feel like I have to shit.

209
00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:04,992
Great. Follow it.

210
00:09:05,165 --> 00:09:06,856
Just keep going.
We're almost crowning.

211
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,720
This is what it's all about.

212
00:09:09,065 --> 00:09:11,516
Crowning's one of the most
beautiful things you will ever see.

213
00:09:11,861 --> 00:09:13,863
Push! Come on, push! [yells]

214
00:09:14,692 --> 00:09:16,625
And we're crowning.

215
00:09:16,866 --> 00:09:19,524
That's my daughter's forehead.

216
00:09:19,938 --> 00:09:22,251
Oh my God, is it that bad?
Why does she look like that?

217
00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,977
Did I just shit on my baby?

218
00:09:24,115 --> 00:09:27,152
No. It's more like you
babied on your shit.

219
00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:28,637
[yells]

220
00:09:29,327 --> 00:09:30,570
Be right back.

221
00:09:32,675 --> 00:09:33,814
[retches]

222
00:09:35,851 --> 00:09:37,438
<i>[music stops]</i>

223
00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:41,201
I am shocked by how
disgusted you were.

224
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:45,515
I mean, we literally send pictures
of our poopies to each other to name.

225
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,621
I was shocked as well.

226
00:09:47,725 --> 00:09:51,211
But I missed Tommy's birth so I
was not going to miss this one.

227
00:09:51,314 --> 00:09:54,110
But if you guys have a
third, I might have to skip.

228
00:09:54,248 --> 00:09:58,459
I think it's far more disturbing
you guys text each other every dump.

229
00:09:58,563 --> 00:10:01,083
We do not text
ever-y dump, okay?

230
00:10:01,186 --> 00:10:04,742
But Dawn is integral
to all my dumps.

231
00:10:04,845 --> 00:10:06,709
- Aw.
<i>- Ever since you guys left Astoria,</i>

232
00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:08,608
<i>instead of reading
on the toilet,</i>

233
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:13,474
I just look at Dawn's share-location-dot
bop around the Upper West Side.

234
00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:16,167
Aw, I look at your
shared-location-dot too.

235
00:10:16,270 --> 00:10:17,686
Really?

236
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:20,457
This is really cute. Was it you
two that just had the baby, or..?

237
00:10:20,481 --> 00:10:23,726
I love when Marty is jealous of me. Yes.
- I know, right?

238
00:10:23,830 --> 00:10:26,384
Don't be a jellybean.
- I am jealous.

239
00:10:26,487 --> 00:10:27,316
<i>[Dawn] Don't be jealous, baby.</i>

240
00:10:27,419 --> 00:10:28,869
I contributed to the IP.

241
00:10:29,042 --> 00:10:30,802
You honestly contributed
less to baby Melanie

242
00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:33,149
than there is Cheeto
dust on my fingers.

243
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,082
You did what you had to do...
- Thank you.

244
00:10:35,255 --> 00:10:37,233
And I appreciate your
service, thoughts and prayers.

245
00:10:37,257 --> 00:10:38,361
Okay, okay.

246
00:10:38,568 --> 00:10:39,768
<i>But if you want me to love you</i>

247
00:10:39,811 --> 00:10:40,605
<i>as much as I love Eden,</i>

248
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,194
can you please just...

249
00:10:43,297 --> 00:10:45,023
get me some sushi?

250
00:10:45,230 --> 00:10:48,371
I'm tired of chips. I'm
tired of cheese and skittles.

251
00:10:48,475 --> 00:10:51,478
I don't want to taste the rainbow
no more. I want some sushi.

252
00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:53,061
I've been waiting
ten months for this.

253
00:10:53,135 --> 00:10:55,102
No, no, no, guys,
this one's on me.

254
00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:57,173
- Oh.
- I'm gonna get you the works.

255
00:10:57,587 --> 00:11:01,695
And you were going to have the sexiest,
most gorgeous postpartum poo poo

256
00:11:01,799 --> 00:11:02,869
of all time.

257
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,225
I'm talking about
you too, Marty.

258
00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:05,249
Ew.

259
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:09,496
<i>[woman] And so,
total is $457.53.</i>

260
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,256
<i>[piano music plays]</i>

261
00:11:11,463 --> 00:11:14,432
Oh, okay. No. Okay.

262
00:11:14,535 --> 00:11:19,333
That's the cost of the
food in these here bags.

263
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:22,923
Where's the butler,
Madame? Butler! [laughs]

264
00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:29,309
Cash cool?

265
00:11:29,412 --> 00:11:30,655
Mh-hm.

266
00:11:31,035 --> 00:11:33,140
All right. I'm not a
drug dealer. [laughs]

267
00:11:33,313 --> 00:11:36,557
I'm a yoga teacher. I got my
own studio, in my apartment.

268
00:11:36,661 --> 00:11:40,423
Okay. And there's no good
guy discount? [chuckles]

269
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:42,943
[whispers] Four.
<i>- [music stops]</i>

270
00:11:44,945 --> 00:11:48,259
Oh my God. Literally
precious moments.

271
00:11:48,362 --> 00:11:49,881
[camera clicking]

272
00:11:49,985 --> 00:11:52,712
- Uh, excuse me?
- Oh. You scared me.

273
00:11:53,091 --> 00:11:54,748
I know it looks creepy, but...

274
00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:56,716
Is this a gorgeous family or?

275
00:11:57,475 --> 00:11:58,545
I'm not a rando.

276
00:11:58,648 --> 00:12:00,167
Dawn is like my sister.

277
00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:02,307
Okay, but only pre-approved
actual family members

278
00:12:02,411 --> 00:12:04,137
can be in the room
after visiting hours.

279
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:07,727
Okay, well this sushi was $500.

280
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:10,384
So do you have a fridge
I could pop it in

281
00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:11,972
so it doesn't go bad for them.

282
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:14,294
No, I mean, we have a fridge,
but it's for, you know,

283
00:12:14,354 --> 00:12:15,735
blood and organs.

284
00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:18,013
[subway squealing]

285
00:12:19,704 --> 00:12:20,809
Mmm.

286
00:12:27,574 --> 00:12:29,690
<i>[conductor over intercom] Closing
this unit down for the holiday.</i>

287
00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:32,821
<i>You all need to get out
and transfer to the next 2.</i>

288
00:12:33,822 --> 00:12:34,961
Oh, fuck.

289
00:12:36,307 --> 00:12:37,687
<i>Okay, okay, okay. Wait, guys.</i>

290
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,241
Hold up! MTA.

291
00:12:39,344 --> 00:12:41,070
This was $500.

292
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,555
[subway beeps]

293
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:47,249
Hey.

294
00:12:47,525 --> 00:12:48,388
Be nice to people.

295
00:12:48,491 --> 00:12:49,803
[subway beeps]

296
00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:53,151
<i>[conductor over intercom]</i>
Sir, let the doors close, sir.

297
00:12:53,255 --> 00:12:54,935
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

298
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,431
<i>Whew! Oh, man.</i>

299
00:12:58,674 --> 00:12:59,813
Happy Thanksgiving.

300
00:13:00,849 --> 00:13:01,884
Happy Thanksgiving.

301
00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:03,368
I'm Eden.

302
00:13:03,506 --> 00:13:04,853
Claude.

303
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,718
Ugh. Brutal.

304
00:13:09,098 --> 00:13:10,755
My commute is
usually three trains,

305
00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:12,077
but with the holidays it's four.

306
00:13:12,101 --> 00:13:13,654
Yeah. Me too. [sighs]

307
00:13:14,069 --> 00:13:17,106
[both] 2 to the 7, to the
G, to the end. [chuckling]

308
00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,350
Uhm. [clears throat]

309
00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:21,454
You like sushi?

310
00:13:23,078 --> 00:13:24,217
I fucking love sushi.

311
00:13:25,528 --> 00:13:26,667
<i>[gentle piano music plays]</i>

312
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,255
So where are you
coming from? Prom?

313
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:31,534
No. God, no. I hated prom.

314
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:33,053
Me too.

315
00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:35,462
I love the idea of dressing
up in big ass outfits,

316
00:13:35,538 --> 00:13:37,437
but to celebrate high
school is such a waste.

317
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:41,579
Like, you know, I got
neck acne and no identity.

318
00:13:41,682 --> 00:13:44,893
- [laughs] - Take my picture.
[laughs] - No, I totally agree.

319
00:13:44,996 --> 00:13:47,447
It feels like prom should
happen way later in life.

320
00:13:47,550 --> 00:13:50,381
You know, for some higher
purpose or something.

321
00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:52,072
I love that idea.

322
00:13:52,210 --> 00:13:54,016
But seriously, why are
you dressed like a waiter

323
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,904
from the Great
Depression? [laughing]

324
00:13:57,112 --> 00:14:00,701
I was shooting a
movie. Martin Scorsese.

325
00:14:00,874 --> 00:14:02,945
Yeah, I've heard of him.
- Yeah.

326
00:14:03,152 --> 00:14:05,396
That guy.
- What's your role?

327
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,881
You're gonna laugh. Uhm...
- Okay.

328
00:14:08,054 --> 00:14:09,779
But don't. It's, a...
- Okay.

329
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:11,678
A sexy black waiter.

330
00:14:11,781 --> 00:14:13,941
I'm not laughing.
- Okay fine, you can laugh. - [laughs]

331
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,233
It was two lines.

332
00:14:15,544 --> 00:14:17,477
But in exchange, I
got this tux. [laughs]

333
00:14:21,136 --> 00:14:22,482
<i>[music brightens]</i>

334
00:14:26,279 --> 00:14:29,040
Mochi is like a
disembodied testicle.

335
00:14:30,559 --> 00:14:31,629
Just try it.

336
00:14:38,291 --> 00:14:41,673
I feel like I definitely
prefer mushrooms over weed.

337
00:14:41,777 --> 00:14:43,261
Mm-mm.

338
00:14:43,848 --> 00:14:46,471
Shrooms have been making me so paranoid lately.
- Have they?

339
00:14:46,609 --> 00:14:50,027
Last time I did them I freaked
out that I was pregnant.

340
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:53,133
I bought dozens and
dozens of pregnancy tests.

341
00:14:53,237 --> 00:14:55,480
I took like, I swear to God, 30.

342
00:14:55,584 --> 00:14:56,861
Oh, God.

343
00:14:57,344 --> 00:15:00,244
It didn't even make sense,
my paranoia, because uhm...

344
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,315
Okay, sorry, this
is going to be TMI,

345
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:04,386
but we are on our second train.

346
00:15:04,593 --> 00:15:06,940
No, that's cool.
This is a safe space.

347
00:15:07,044 --> 00:15:08,493
<i>[music continues]</i>

348
00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:14,769
But I have, never been,
uhm... cummed inside, rawly.

349
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:18,331
[clears throat] Sorry, I've
never had unprotected sex.

350
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:22,059
Wow.
- I've never had unprotected sex either.

351
00:15:22,542 --> 00:15:24,451
- Are you just saying that?
- I'm serious. - You're not lying?

352
00:15:24,475 --> 00:15:26,477
No, I mean, I've heard
great things about it.

353
00:15:26,615 --> 00:15:28,962
Humanity is obsessed
with unprotected sex.

354
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,860
I don't know, it's
risky out there, man.

355
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,760
Diseases and shit. I
get tested every month.

356
00:15:33,863 --> 00:15:35,141
<i>Oh, yeah? Same.</i>

357
00:15:35,417 --> 00:15:37,384
You don't go to the
twins on 43rd, do you?

358
00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:39,048
I... I can't believe
you're saying this.

359
00:15:39,145 --> 00:15:40,284
<i>- Oh my gosh.</i>
- Yes.

360
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,778
I would trust those
guys with my life.

361
00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:42,942
Honestly.
- Totally.

362
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,196
I mean, they're literally
my emergency contact.

363
00:15:45,220 --> 00:15:47,774
- Oh, that's a nice two for one.
- Quite the duo.

364
00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:49,224
I can't believe you go to them.

365
00:15:51,157 --> 00:15:52,365
<i>[music continues]</i>

366
00:15:57,439 --> 00:15:59,717
Dad died when I
was in high school.

367
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,823
Mom died last year.
- No, I'm so sorry.

368
00:16:02,927 --> 00:16:06,586
- Yeah, it's okay.
- My mom died when I was three and a half.

369
00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:10,417
My dad has issues,
man. He is a mess.

370
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,627
He's, like, agoraphobic
and a hoarder.

371
00:16:13,731 --> 00:16:17,700
And he's kind of a deadbeat.
But I'm not trying to compete.

372
00:16:17,804 --> 00:16:20,427
Deadbeat dad's not as
tough as a dead, dead dad.

373
00:16:20,531 --> 00:16:23,879
Well, look, I think we can both
agree that deadbeat, dead-dead,

374
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,467
they both suck.
- Yeah.

375
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:26,570
[chuckling]

376
00:16:27,331 --> 00:16:29,160
Oh, it's all a mess.

377
00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:35,436
But I like to live with hope.
Today I saw a baby be born.

378
00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:37,203
What?

379
00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:40,102
Covered in shit. It
was life in a nutshell.

380
00:16:40,206 --> 00:16:46,177
A perfect, flawless, newborn human
being enveloped in its mother's shit.

381
00:16:46,281 --> 00:16:49,008
[laughs] You should
put that on a t-shirt.

382
00:16:49,387 --> 00:16:52,045
Thank you. Thank you.
- [laughs]

383
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,289
[baby coos]

384
00:16:54,668 --> 00:16:56,912
Do you want to try
just moving it, right?

385
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,017
Really?

386
00:16:58,672 --> 00:16:59,777
You want to try it?

387
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,548
You want to show me how to
breastfeed on your titties?

388
00:17:01,572 --> 00:17:02,469
Show me how you'd
breastfeed your titties.

389
00:17:02,573 --> 00:17:04,954
No, you try it. No,
you try it this way.

390
00:17:05,058 --> 00:17:10,339
Hi, sweet baby. How are you enjoying
the wonderful world, cute stuff?

391
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:12,962
Here's your creams. Witch
Hazel for your labia,

392
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:14,757
Preparation H for
your hemorrhoids

393
00:17:14,861 --> 00:17:18,071
and super strength ibuprofen
for all your other pains.

394
00:17:18,175 --> 00:17:20,660
Bowel movement yet?
- No, not yet.

395
00:17:20,763 --> 00:17:23,249
Would you like the card
of a lactation consultant?

396
00:17:23,352 --> 00:17:24,974
- Yes. - No.
- No.

397
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,401
[nurse] Okay. [Marty] I'll just
hold it. But I don't want it.

398
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:31,119
And before I go, here's
some diapers for you, cutie.

399
00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,982
And some diapers for you.

400
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,501
[baby coos]

401
00:17:38,747 --> 00:17:39,886
Come on, bubba.

402
00:17:39,989 --> 00:17:41,819
- It's okay.
- Come on.

403
00:17:42,164 --> 00:17:43,348
Was it this hard the first time?

404
00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:44,822
Like, I can't even remember.

405
00:17:44,925 --> 00:17:46,272
Well, with Tommy

406
00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:50,517
you had a third degree
tear with four hemorrhoids.

407
00:17:50,621 --> 00:17:53,175
But this time, you only
have a second degree tear

408
00:17:53,486 --> 00:17:54,728
with three hemorrhoids.

409
00:17:56,247 --> 00:17:57,869
So you're kind of crushing it.

410
00:17:58,042 --> 00:17:59,147
Aw.

411
00:18:03,806 --> 00:18:05,118
You're doing great.

412
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,500
[train rattles]

413
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:10,641
Okay, so... what are
you thankful for?

414
00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:12,194
What am I thankful for?

415
00:18:12,298 --> 00:18:13,538
Come on, It's our fourth train.

416
00:18:13,644 --> 00:18:14,964
It's the nice part
of the holiday,

417
00:18:15,059 --> 00:18:17,303
If you can ignore the genocide.

418
00:18:17,475 --> 00:18:20,168
I don't know, I guess
I'm thankful for my Xbox.

419
00:18:20,271 --> 00:18:21,134
Does that count?

420
00:18:21,238 --> 00:18:22,031
<i>[gentle piano music plays]</i>

421
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:23,205
Yes.
<i>- Good.</i>

422
00:18:25,311 --> 00:18:27,347
<i>- What do you play?</i>
- Street fighter.

423
00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:31,593
Dude, all I do is Street
Fighter. Who is your character?

424
00:18:31,696 --> 00:18:35,390
Chun-Li.
- That is so feminist. I love it.

425
00:18:35,493 --> 00:18:37,771
I mean, powerful thighs.
Unstoppable. Who's yours?

426
00:18:37,875 --> 00:18:39,532
Ryu. Loyal since day one.

427
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,258
<i>- Wow.</i>
- What?

428
00:18:41,361 --> 00:18:43,018
Are we about to throw down?

429
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:47,436
I think I'm about to throw you
down and you don't stand a chance.

430
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,644
[laughs]

431
00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:54,167
[Claude] Wait, stop!

432
00:18:54,271 --> 00:18:55,271
[Eden] No I won't.

433
00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:56,065
Is this even allowed?

434
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:57,343
You mean winning?

435
00:18:57,688 --> 00:19:00,863
Okay. Even with a cheat?
Even with a cheat?

436
00:19:00,967 --> 00:19:02,451
- No.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

437
00:19:02,555 --> 00:19:05,627
Oh, sorry. I'm truly sorry...
- Damn it.

438
00:19:05,730 --> 00:19:08,906
That I'm shockingly
good at Street Fighter.

439
00:19:09,009 --> 00:19:10,149
<i>[music stops]</i>

440
00:19:10,390 --> 00:19:12,392
[Street Fighter
character shouts]

441
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,261
[exhales, chuckles]

442
00:19:20,331 --> 00:19:21,746
[laughing]

443
00:19:25,819 --> 00:19:30,824
Do you think that we
are going to have sex?

444
00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:33,137
- Sex?
- Yes, that.

445
00:19:33,241 --> 00:19:37,762
Well, it's kind of up
to us, right? We could.

446
00:19:38,798 --> 00:19:39,798
We could not.

447
00:19:41,594 --> 00:19:44,804
I mean, it'd be nice.
How do you feel?

448
00:19:46,426 --> 00:19:50,050
I feel like it
would also be nice.

449
00:19:50,396 --> 00:19:54,848
I have just one big wrinkle.

450
00:19:55,194 --> 00:20:01,194
Or it's more like one big
gelatinous clot. I am on my period.

451
00:20:04,789 --> 00:20:05,790
And?

452
00:20:08,655 --> 00:20:09,725
Cool.

453
00:20:11,348 --> 00:20:12,659
Uhm, okay...

454
00:20:13,384 --> 00:20:15,524
So then, I have an idea.

455
00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:19,770
Our conversation got
my wheels turning

456
00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:22,773
on those no-condom feels.

457
00:20:22,911 --> 00:20:26,397
You know, I have my period,
so I can't get pregnant...

458
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,848
And I'm clean by the
Twins this month.

459
00:20:28,986 --> 00:20:29,986
As am I.

460
00:20:31,713 --> 00:20:32,748
[sighs]

461
00:20:32,886 --> 00:20:34,336
Let's go ruin a towel.

462
00:20:34,923 --> 00:20:36,856
[laughing]

463
00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:39,479
<i>[A Different Life
- Art Moore plays]</i>

464
00:20:52,975 --> 00:20:54,701
<i>[music fades]</i>

465
00:20:54,805 --> 00:20:56,358
[laughing]

466
00:20:57,877 --> 00:20:59,258
Oh my God.

467
00:20:59,603 --> 00:21:01,467
Do you speak other languages?

468
00:21:01,881 --> 00:21:02,881
Umpah.

469
00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:04,297
- Umpah.
- Wait.

470
00:21:04,608 --> 00:21:06,886
- Cake or pie?
- Definitely pie.

471
00:21:06,989 --> 00:21:08,025
Yes.

472
00:21:08,197 --> 00:21:09,406
Wait, does cheesecake count?

473
00:21:09,889 --> 00:21:14,307
Oh, that <i>is</i> the only
cake that may top pie.

474
00:21:14,411 --> 00:21:15,412
<i>Tell me when.</i>

475
00:21:15,515 --> 00:21:17,103
<i>[music resumes]</i>

476
00:21:17,206 --> 00:21:19,588
Not yet. - Tell me when.
- Not yet.

477
00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:23,420
I studied French from
seventh grade to 12th grade,

478
00:21:23,523 --> 00:21:26,733
and I... I know un per.
- [laughs]

479
00:21:27,941 --> 00:21:30,979
How about now? [squeals]
Getting closer.

480
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:33,533
[laughing]

481
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:39,712
<i>[music continues]</i>

482
00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:48,030
<i>[Eden] At Fourth
Floor Walk-Up Yoga,</i>

483
00:21:48,134 --> 00:21:50,964
<i>no one's judging your
ass through a window.</i>

484
00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,759
<i>You're safe up here.</i>

485
00:21:53,035 --> 00:21:56,107
<i>So as we close out this
year, fuck a resolution.</i>

486
00:21:56,211 --> 00:21:59,628
Just thank yourself for the
work you already did this year.

487
00:21:59,835 --> 00:22:02,838
Whatever you're doing,
keep doing that.

488
00:22:03,529 --> 00:22:04,944
[indistinct chatter]

489
00:22:05,220 --> 00:22:06,220
<i>[music continues]</i>

490
00:22:14,885 --> 00:22:15,920
[growls]

491
00:22:28,174 --> 00:22:29,486
<i>[music fades]</i>

492
00:22:29,865 --> 00:22:31,350
Too soft.

493
00:22:32,454 --> 00:22:33,904
Too hard.

494
00:22:35,940 --> 00:22:36,976
[inhales sharply]

495
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:38,943
Missing.
- Missing?

496
00:22:39,047 --> 00:22:41,912
I think what we want to do is
just really amp up your supply

497
00:22:42,015 --> 00:22:44,190
so it forces its way out.

498
00:22:44,293 --> 00:22:47,193
I'd like to
recommend... [thud]

499
00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:49,229
a hospital grade pump.

500
00:22:49,402 --> 00:22:53,130
This is the one and
only Her Majesty.

501
00:22:53,441 --> 00:22:57,479
I have seen Her Majesty pull milk
out of the nipples of boy children.

502
00:22:57,583 --> 00:22:59,343
She's that powerful.

503
00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:01,932
These are going super fast
from my Squarespace site:

504
00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:03,692
Lactation Lesley dot com.

505
00:23:03,865 --> 00:23:06,523
But I always bring an extra
one for in-person clients.

506
00:23:07,662 --> 00:23:10,216
Okay, I'll get it.

507
00:23:10,596 --> 00:23:12,356
<i>Don't know why we're
milking boys, but...</i>

508
00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:14,047
You need it, sweetie.

509
00:23:14,151 --> 00:23:15,186
[phone chimes]

510
00:23:16,049 --> 00:23:17,430
Okay, I guess I'll just...

511
00:23:23,091 --> 00:23:26,750
Well, I'm going to get
started now, so thank you.

512
00:23:26,853 --> 00:23:27,853
You can go.

513
00:23:32,583 --> 00:23:34,067
<i>[yelling from upstairs]</i>

514
00:23:35,034 --> 00:23:36,656
Oh my God.
<i>- [front door closes]</i>

515
00:23:36,898 --> 00:23:39,797
Jesus Christ. What
happened to you?

516
00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:42,041
I got sprayed by Tommy.
- What?

517
00:23:42,144 --> 00:23:45,493
He refuses to wear undies, so
now he wants diapers again.

518
00:23:45,596 --> 00:23:46,839
Me too. So what?

519
00:23:46,977 --> 00:23:49,117
Some of it got in my mouth.
- Oh.

520
00:23:49,289 --> 00:23:52,258
Is it weird that I love him so
much that I didn't even care?

521
00:23:52,672 --> 00:23:56,745
Like it wasn't good,
but it tasted cute.

522
00:23:56,849 --> 00:24:00,922
Oh my God, that is the most
romantic shit you have ever said.

523
00:24:01,025 --> 00:24:02,717
I love you so much.

524
00:24:03,096 --> 00:24:05,316
Don't ever tell anyone that story.
We are getting fucking weird.

525
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:07,836
I think Tommy's jealous that we're
giving Melani so much attention,

526
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:09,517
so he's regressing.
- No, we have a baby.

527
00:24:09,620 --> 00:24:11,277
We don't need another baby.

528
00:24:11,864 --> 00:24:14,314
In fact, we had a second baby
because he's not a baby anymore.

529
00:24:14,418 --> 00:24:16,213
We timed it perfectly, okay?

530
00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,596
So talk to your boy and tell
him to lock it the fuck up.

531
00:24:19,699 --> 00:24:21,736
I'm sure he's. gonna
follow that logic.

532
00:24:22,184 --> 00:24:25,498
I have to be diligent with my
pumping with my low production.

533
00:24:25,602 --> 00:24:27,707
I gotta... [thud]

534
00:24:27,811 --> 00:24:29,191
get to it.
<i>- [Tommy] Mommy.</i>

535
00:24:30,952 --> 00:24:32,436
<i>Daddy.</i>
- Okay, look, wait. Just wait.

536
00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:33,817
Stop stop stop, please.

537
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,922
No. I made Melanie
with my body,

538
00:24:36,026 --> 00:24:39,098
and I'm going to feed
her with my body.

539
00:24:39,201 --> 00:24:41,065
I just have to figure
out how this thing works.

540
00:24:41,272 --> 00:24:43,078
Wait a second, weren't you supposed
to hang out with Eden tonight?

541
00:24:43,102 --> 00:24:45,518
Yeah, but I canceled
because I've got to pump.

542
00:24:45,829 --> 00:24:48,038
Okay, listen, listen, listen,
listen. Put that down.

543
00:24:48,141 --> 00:24:50,178
Stop.
- What?

544
00:24:50,523 --> 00:24:53,260
I go back to work next week, which means
it's going to be you and the babies

545
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,364
for a couple of months, and
then you go back to work.

546
00:24:55,424 --> 00:24:56,909
I can't wait for the day.

547
00:24:57,012 --> 00:24:58,462
So please take me up on this.

548
00:24:58,566 --> 00:25:00,602
Go out tonight, have fun.

549
00:25:01,016 --> 00:25:03,018
Relaxing a bit will be
good for production.

550
00:25:03,122 --> 00:25:04,710
<i>[crying from upstairs]</i>

551
00:25:05,193 --> 00:25:07,240
Oh my God, you're absolutely
right. [laughs] I love you so much.

552
00:25:07,264 --> 00:25:08,334
Bye. I'll miss you.

553
00:25:08,437 --> 00:25:09,437
I'll miss you too.

554
00:25:10,957 --> 00:25:13,373
Ooh! Pump and dump.
<i>- [pop music plays in background]</i>

555
00:25:13,477 --> 00:25:15,410
- Oh, and... oh.
- That's good. Thank you.

556
00:25:15,514 --> 00:25:16,307
<i>[firework bangs]</i>

557
00:25:16,411 --> 00:25:17,481
<i>Wow.</i>

558
00:25:17,585 --> 00:25:19,897
Oh! Pump and dump!

559
00:25:20,001 --> 00:25:21,934
Do it. Pump it and dump it.

560
00:25:22,037 --> 00:25:23,660
One more time. Pump,
pump, pump it up.

561
00:25:23,763 --> 00:25:25,282
Dump, dump, dump,
dump, dump it out.

562
00:25:25,385 --> 00:25:27,595
Mmm, that was good.

563
00:25:27,836 --> 00:25:31,219
I'm typically the
ghost-er, not the ghost-ee.

564
00:25:31,322 --> 00:25:33,014
<i>I just really liked him.</i>

565
00:25:33,117 --> 00:25:35,302
He even left his bow tie here
and hasn't asked for it back.

566
00:25:35,326 --> 00:25:38,916
Okay, you fucked a guy
that owns a bow tie?

567
00:25:39,020 --> 00:25:42,575
That's, uhm... charming.
Do you have any shrooms?

568
00:25:42,748 --> 00:25:44,370
Can you pump and dump shrooms?

569
00:25:44,473 --> 00:25:46,337
<i>I can answer that.</i>

570
00:25:46,683 --> 00:25:49,582
I'm not producing anything. So,
you can't dump what's not there.

571
00:25:49,686 --> 00:25:50,721
That's deep...

572
00:25:51,308 --> 00:25:52,585
I think.

573
00:25:52,689 --> 00:25:54,276
<i>Shrooms, please.</i>

574
00:25:54,380 --> 00:25:57,314
New Year's, us, shrooms, please.

575
00:25:57,417 --> 00:25:59,212
New year's, us...
- What?

576
00:25:59,316 --> 00:26:01,629
I can't say no to that.

577
00:26:01,732 --> 00:26:03,354
Ow!
- Aww.

578
00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:05,909
Okay, I'm gonna go to my secret spot and get 'em.
- Okay.

579
00:26:06,012 --> 00:26:09,498
Oh, is this secret spot
in Fraggle Rock where...

580
00:26:09,602 --> 00:26:11,190
Ooh! Yay!

581
00:26:11,293 --> 00:26:12,674
You raw dogging it?

582
00:26:12,847 --> 00:26:14,169
No, actually, do you
have, like, a crostini

583
00:26:14,193 --> 00:26:15,643
or some butter I
can saute them in?

584
00:26:15,746 --> 00:26:17,034
I need a little nosh
with my shrooms.

585
00:26:17,058 --> 00:26:19,232
You are so classy it's insane.

586
00:26:19,336 --> 00:26:20,371
Thank you.

587
00:26:20,475 --> 00:26:22,028
[Doja Cat - MOOO! plays]

588
00:26:22,132 --> 00:26:24,237
<i>[Dawn] This is our
big titty Ted Talk.</i>

589
00:26:24,341 --> 00:26:26,377
You're my best friends.

590
00:26:26,550 --> 00:26:29,070
I work for you. I
work for everyone.

591
00:26:29,898 --> 00:26:33,937
We gotta feed our baby.

592
00:26:35,663 --> 00:26:41,663
Moo! [echoing, distorted] Moo!

593
00:26:41,979 --> 00:26:44,672
Hello, Dawn! It's
your titties.

594
00:26:44,775 --> 00:26:47,916
We just woke the fuck up.

595
00:26:48,089 --> 00:26:51,368
Know what girl?
Prepare for a flood.

596
00:26:51,471 --> 00:26:53,646
<i>Here we go!</i>

597
00:26:54,095 --> 00:26:56,028
<i>[Apache Indian - Boom
Shack-A-Lack plays]</i>

598
00:26:58,513 --> 00:27:02,310
Oh shit! Eden! Here we go!

599
00:27:02,793 --> 00:27:06,245
Woo! Get me a bottle.

600
00:27:07,315 --> 00:27:08,799
Okay, got it.

601
00:27:08,903 --> 00:27:11,353
Woo! It's coming!

602
00:27:13,701 --> 00:27:15,185
Bitch, I'm a cow!

603
00:27:16,220 --> 00:27:17,636
<i>You see this? Woo!</i>

604
00:27:17,739 --> 00:27:20,293
Yes! Yes. What?

605
00:27:20,466 --> 00:27:24,125
Melanie, I'm coming home
baby! I'm coming home!

606
00:27:24,228 --> 00:27:26,334
[groans] Ow!

607
00:27:27,093 --> 00:27:28,370
Not again...

608
00:27:28,543 --> 00:27:31,373
Whoa! Oh, God.

609
00:27:31,546 --> 00:27:33,686
Come on, shrooms. Chill.

610
00:27:33,962 --> 00:27:36,827
You are some silly Simon.

611
00:27:36,931 --> 00:27:38,864
<i>- [baby screams]</i>
- Oh...

612
00:27:39,140 --> 00:27:42,143
I am not pregnant.
Come on, shrooms.

613
00:27:42,246 --> 00:27:43,246
Ooh.

614
00:27:43,316 --> 00:27:44,870
[lid pops]
- [blows]

615
00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:47,389
Am I over a toilet?
- Completely.

616
00:27:49,253 --> 00:27:50,253
[urine swooshing]

617
00:27:50,323 --> 00:27:52,671
[singing] Okay, okay.

618
00:27:52,843 --> 00:27:54,362
Shall we make ice cream?

619
00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:55,466
Fuck!
- [lid pops]

620
00:27:55,570 --> 00:27:56,675
[blows]

621
00:27:56,847 --> 00:27:58,159
<i>[urine swooshing]</i>
- Ooh!

622
00:27:58,331 --> 00:28:00,171
I feel like I could just
breastfeed the Knicks.

623
00:28:00,264 --> 00:28:01,334
Dawn, uh...

624
00:28:01,438 --> 00:28:02,473
Crisis.

625
00:28:02,577 --> 00:28:03,992
Not in a sexual way, but...

626
00:28:04,855 --> 00:28:06,236
also in a sexual way.

627
00:28:06,339 --> 00:28:07,651
<i>Line's positive.</i>

628
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:08,755
Pregnant.

629
00:28:08,825 --> 00:28:11,206
I feel this!

630
00:28:12,311 --> 00:28:13,484
<i>[music stops]</i>

631
00:28:15,314 --> 00:28:16,556
Oh, God.

632
00:28:16,798 --> 00:28:22,528
Okay. I'm thinking
maybe, just maybe,

633
00:28:22,631 --> 00:28:26,256
I am a pregnant person.

634
00:28:26,532 --> 00:28:29,569
I'm 28 for 28. I
could do a 29th?

635
00:28:29,673 --> 00:28:31,848
Yeah, no.

636
00:28:32,227 --> 00:28:34,816
You are clearly pregnant.
- Okay...

637
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,405
I... I don't know how
this could have happened.

638
00:28:37,508 --> 00:28:40,926
I've had sex once since my last
period, but I was on my period.

639
00:28:41,305 --> 00:28:43,894
- So?
- So you can't get pregnant on your period.

640
00:28:43,998 --> 00:28:47,726
Girl. - Girl?
- Girl.

641
00:28:47,829 --> 00:28:50,107
- Girl. [clears
throat] - Girl - Girl.

642
00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:51,350
<i>Yes you can.</i>

643
00:28:51,453 --> 00:28:53,110
Girl, stop!

644
00:28:53,801 --> 00:28:55,882
Girl, you stop. We went to the same
school. We learned the same shit.

645
00:28:55,906 --> 00:28:57,425
Come on. No you can't.

646
00:28:57,528 --> 00:28:59,496
Ma'am, I'm a doctor.

647
00:29:00,773 --> 00:29:02,913
You are a dentist.

648
00:29:03,224 --> 00:29:04,466
You're a whore.

649
00:29:04,570 --> 00:29:05,744
[laughs] True.

650
00:29:06,020 --> 00:29:08,470
You're a whore. You're
a flexible whore.

651
00:29:08,574 --> 00:29:09,574
Better believe.

652
00:29:09,817 --> 00:29:11,922
Maybe it's someone else?

653
00:29:12,026 --> 00:29:14,442
No, Claude is the only
person it could be.

654
00:29:14,545 --> 00:29:16,133
I don't even know his last name.

655
00:29:16,444 --> 00:29:18,929
Maybe y'all got some mutual
people you know in common?

656
00:29:19,033 --> 00:29:23,037
Oh, I don't think
we do, but uhm...

657
00:29:23,692 --> 00:29:25,177
Actually.

658
00:29:27,041 --> 00:29:29,457
[both] Hey! Eden!
[Eden] Hey, how are ya?

659
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,597
Long time no see. So,
what are we doing today?

660
00:29:31,700 --> 00:29:33,081
Left arm, right arm?

661
00:29:33,426 --> 00:29:35,946
Uhm, actually, I am
not here to get tested.

662
00:29:36,257 --> 00:29:40,295
I am here to ask
about another patient.

663
00:29:41,676 --> 00:29:44,127
LOL. His name is Claude.

664
00:29:44,230 --> 00:29:46,336
[inhales sharply]
Ooh, okay uh...

665
00:29:46,508 --> 00:29:48,683
Yeah. We can't talk
about other patients.

666
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,419
I'm not sure if you're
familiar with HIPAA.

667
00:29:50,443 --> 00:29:52,307
It's against the rules.
- HIPAA. - HIPAA.

668
00:29:52,411 --> 00:29:53,940
- Familiar with HIPAA?
- HIPAA, oh yeah.

669
00:29:53,964 --> 00:29:54,862
- We can't...
- Hope, HIPAA.

670
00:29:54,965 --> 00:29:56,311
I got a tip up for ya.

671
00:29:56,415 --> 00:29:57,968
It's that HIPAA.

672
00:29:58,555 --> 00:29:59,946
Ooh, you hit the HIPAA?
- You hit the HIPAA. - He's hit the HIPAA.

673
00:29:59,970 --> 00:30:01,765
Hungry, hungry HIPAA.

674
00:30:02,145 --> 00:30:05,734
It's the H, the I, the P, the
P the A, the H, the I, the P.

675
00:30:05,838 --> 00:30:07,081
Is HIPAA.

676
00:30:07,184 --> 00:30:08,876
Totally respect.
- Mh-hm.

677
00:30:08,979 --> 00:30:11,982
But the thing is I am...

678
00:30:12,845 --> 00:30:16,331
pregnant with Claude's fetus.

679
00:30:16,435 --> 00:30:17,781
[fake laughs]

680
00:30:18,264 --> 00:30:20,853
I can't get him on the phone.
I don't know his last name.

681
00:30:20,957 --> 00:30:23,407
You know how it is because you
test people who fuck a lot.

682
00:30:23,511 --> 00:30:26,479
Uhm... he was just
in a Scorsese movie.

683
00:30:26,583 --> 00:30:28,481
Do you know him?
- Yeah, yeah.

684
00:30:28,585 --> 00:30:30,932
We... we know exactly
who you're talking about.

685
00:30:31,036 --> 00:30:32,658
He's beautiful, man.
- Mm.

686
00:30:32,761 --> 00:30:34,729
Kind... kind eyes.
He has kind eyes.

687
00:30:34,867 --> 00:30:37,870
But here's the thing
about him, though. Uh...

688
00:30:38,664 --> 00:30:39,907
He died. [exhales]

689
00:30:40,010 --> 00:30:41,909
He died. He's dead.

690
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:44,981
What?

691
00:30:45,326 --> 00:30:46,924
That was very poorly done.
- What do you mean?

692
00:30:46,948 --> 00:30:48,236
Bro, I mean, the
other thing about him?

693
00:30:48,260 --> 00:30:49,620
- It's hard news to break.
- Right.

694
00:30:49,675 --> 00:30:51,539
When? How?

695
00:30:51,642 --> 00:30:53,713
[sighs] It was the day
after Thanksgiving.

696
00:30:53,817 --> 00:30:55,854
Freak accident. He
choked on an almond.

697
00:30:56,061 --> 00:30:57,683
We were really surprised
to get the call,

698
00:30:57,786 --> 00:31:00,203
but also felt honored
that he saw us

699
00:31:00,306 --> 00:31:02,239
as emergency
contact level dudes.

700
00:31:02,343 --> 00:31:04,172
He knows. Pretty cool.
- Right.

701
00:31:04,793 --> 00:31:07,141
Did he die alone?

702
00:31:07,244 --> 00:31:09,281
Yes he... yes he
did. He died alone.

703
00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:11,628
There wasn't anyone there
to deliver the Heimlich.

704
00:31:11,731 --> 00:31:13,733
Yeah. It's perilous
to live alone.

705
00:31:13,837 --> 00:31:15,877
One of the many reasons I
love living with this guy.

706
00:31:15,908 --> 00:31:18,531
- Right.
- We give each other the Heimlich all the time.

707
00:31:18,635 --> 00:31:19,670
- All the time.
- Yeah.

708
00:31:19,912 --> 00:31:21,152
We had thin throats growing up.

709
00:31:21,293 --> 00:31:22,477
I mean, we have
thin throats now.

710
00:31:22,501 --> 00:31:23,941
We were born premature, so...
- Yeah.

711
00:31:24,020 --> 00:31:25,918
- And we eat too fucking fast.
- Too fast.

712
00:31:26,367 --> 00:31:27,367
Me too.

713
00:31:29,197 --> 00:31:34,893
Holy shit. I'm pregnant
with a dead man's baby?

714
00:31:35,721 --> 00:31:39,759
I mean, I wouldn't say that... I mean,
he was alive when you fucked him.

715
00:31:39,863 --> 00:31:41,485
He was alive. He was
alive when you...

716
00:31:41,589 --> 00:31:43,384
But he is fucking currently.

717
00:31:43,660 --> 00:31:44,868
Well, yeah.
- Yeah.

718
00:31:44,972 --> 00:31:45,834
- He's gone.
- Yeah, yeah.

719
00:31:45,938 --> 00:31:47,112
- He's dead.
- Yeah.

720
00:31:49,942 --> 00:31:51,047
[sighs]

721
00:31:54,395 --> 00:31:55,983
[enthusiastically] Single mom.

722
00:31:56,086 --> 00:31:58,433
She may not keep
the baby. Choice.

723
00:31:58,537 --> 00:31:59,710
Oh, right. Right.

724
00:31:59,814 --> 00:32:02,161
[enthusiastically] Single...

725
00:32:02,610 --> 00:32:04,730
<i>[Kevin Morby - Nothing Sacred
/ All Things Wild plays]</i>

726
00:32:28,843 --> 00:32:30,603
<i>[music fades]</i>

727
00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:33,054
[subway squeaks]

728
00:32:33,227 --> 00:32:35,332
I do think that the
subway sounds like

729
00:32:35,436 --> 00:32:37,552
the Gregorian chants from like
the 1500s. [subway squeals]

730
00:32:37,576 --> 00:32:38,576
That's weird.

731
00:32:40,096 --> 00:32:42,063
[singing high notes]

732
00:32:42,477 --> 00:32:43,858
There it goes
again. There it is.

733
00:32:43,962 --> 00:32:44,963
<i>[music resumes]</i>

734
00:33:18,479 --> 00:33:19,721
<i>[music fades]</i>

735
00:33:19,894 --> 00:33:21,758
So you're sure that's a fetus

736
00:33:21,861 --> 00:33:26,452
and not like my spleen got
loose and is floating around?

737
00:33:26,556 --> 00:33:29,973
I am as certain as I am that this
combover is no longer working for me,

738
00:33:30,077 --> 00:33:31,561
and I need a new idea.

739
00:33:32,596 --> 00:33:33,839
Mmm.

740
00:33:34,150 --> 00:33:36,704
I can't believe I got
pregnant on my period.

741
00:33:36,807 --> 00:33:40,397
I thought that was impossible.
<i>- It's not likely, but possible.</i>

742
00:33:40,501 --> 00:33:43,297
Does the fetus look healthy?
Because I didn't know I was pregnant

743
00:33:43,400 --> 00:33:47,922
and I've had [exhales]
weed, shrooms, alcohol,

744
00:33:48,026 --> 00:33:51,684
sushi, coffee and
unpasteurized cheese.

745
00:33:51,788 --> 00:33:54,273
Well, if you decide to
continue with the pregnancy,

746
00:33:54,377 --> 00:33:55,792
all of that has to stop.

747
00:33:55,895 --> 00:33:57,345
<i>But the fetus looks great.</i>

748
00:33:57,518 --> 00:33:59,727
We should do some genetic
testing to make sure

749
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:01,418
there aren't any big red flags.

750
00:34:01,522 --> 00:34:03,248
Jewish people carry
certain diseases.

751
00:34:04,387 --> 00:34:06,320
How did you know I was Jewish?

752
00:34:06,423 --> 00:34:10,151
You put J on the form.
- Oh, I filled it out. Yeah.

753
00:34:10,427 --> 00:34:13,879
Okay. Do you only
do minority stuff?

754
00:34:13,982 --> 00:34:18,090
Certain ethnicities carry
certain genetic diseases.

755
00:34:18,470 --> 00:34:21,680
So genetic testing is
necessarily racist.

756
00:34:21,783 --> 00:34:24,038
It's true. Doctor Morris wanted
to test me for sickle cell,

757
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:25,304
and I was offended.

758
00:34:25,408 --> 00:34:27,237
Well, you called
me a white devil.

759
00:34:27,996 --> 00:34:31,207
But turns out I'm a carrier, so this
white devil knows what he's talking about.

760
00:34:31,379 --> 00:34:34,279
So we don't have
the father's DNA?

761
00:34:34,451 --> 00:34:37,385
No.
<i>- Okay, well we have your DNA,</i>

762
00:34:37,489 --> 00:34:40,285
so you can schedule a
screening with the Quest,

763
00:34:40,388 --> 00:34:44,358
and you can have the results
on your phone in a jiff.

764
00:34:44,461 --> 00:34:47,395
Okay. Guess I'll go
swab up some Jew cells.

765
00:34:48,293 --> 00:34:49,708
<i>[vacuum whirs]</i>

766
00:34:51,572 --> 00:34:53,677
Hey big boy, you
wanna help Mama clean?

767
00:34:55,714 --> 00:34:57,233
Okay.

768
00:34:57,819 --> 00:35:01,478
Oh come on, I have refreshed
this app so many times

769
00:35:01,582 --> 00:35:03,170
<i>my phone is starting to get hot.</i>

770
00:35:03,342 --> 00:35:05,482
You don't have to do anything
you don't want to do.

771
00:35:05,586 --> 00:35:08,244
Honestly? Honestly, you wouldn't
judge me if I got an abortion?

772
00:35:08,347 --> 00:35:10,970
Even if the baby's healthy?
<i>- Absolutely not.</i>

773
00:35:11,247 --> 00:35:13,732
Look, you got to think
about yourself, Eden, okay?

774
00:35:13,835 --> 00:35:16,183
This is all about your choice
and what's good for you.

775
00:35:17,425 --> 00:35:18,771
Oh, the results are in,

776
00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:24,156
It says no red flags. And...

777
00:35:26,158 --> 00:35:27,263
It's all good.

778
00:35:27,366 --> 00:35:29,265
Listen. It's okay.

779
00:35:30,507 --> 00:35:32,854
I have your back,
no matter what.

780
00:35:33,338 --> 00:35:36,927
Truly, truly, truly,
you will be there for me

781
00:35:37,031 --> 00:35:39,965
every step of the way, no
matter what choice I make?

782
00:35:40,276 --> 00:35:41,691
I need to know that.

783
00:35:41,794 --> 00:35:42,794
<i>[Melanie crying]</i>

784
00:35:42,864 --> 00:35:43,864
Yes.

785
00:35:44,590 --> 00:35:45,626
Okay.

786
00:35:47,041 --> 00:35:48,767
I am going to have...

787
00:35:52,702 --> 00:35:57,845
A baby. [laughs] I'm
going to have the baby.

788
00:35:58,432 --> 00:36:01,469
Mom? Yeah. [laughs]

789
00:36:01,883 --> 00:36:04,162
[sighs] Okay.
- Yes. I'm going to be a mother.

790
00:36:04,265 --> 00:36:08,027
I'm going to be a
mommy, I like that.

791
00:36:08,166 --> 00:36:10,547
Okay, mamacita. No,
that's appropriation.

792
00:36:10,651 --> 00:36:13,964
[claps] Okay, I'm having a baby.

793
00:36:14,068 --> 00:36:16,277
Okay? Yes, dog.

794
00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:18,383
Yeah. It just
feels like destiny.

795
00:36:18,486 --> 00:36:24,423
And this is Destiny's Child.
[laughs] Can you believe that?

796
00:36:24,527 --> 00:36:26,598
Did you hear that,
Destiny's Child?

797
00:36:26,805 --> 00:36:28,979
Oh! Jumpin', jumpin'.

798
00:36:29,773 --> 00:36:31,499
Whoa. Okay. It's on.

799
00:36:31,672 --> 00:36:35,020
Eden. Are you sure about this?

800
00:36:35,538 --> 00:36:38,541
Because the hormones
can be pretty intense...

801
00:36:38,644 --> 00:36:39,680
Hormones? LOL.

802
00:36:39,852 --> 00:36:42,441
Mitch McConnell, uhm,
I love you. What?

803
00:36:42,545 --> 00:36:45,686
Eden, I just want to...

804
00:36:45,824 --> 00:36:48,206
I'm just trying to say...
What I'm... I'm just.

805
00:36:48,309 --> 00:36:49,931
Dawn, you think I
can do this. Right?

806
00:36:50,069 --> 00:36:51,726
<i>[Melanie crying]</i>

807
00:36:52,175 --> 00:36:54,833
<i>[Marty] Mama! Melanie's
waiting for you.</i>

808
00:36:56,179 --> 00:36:57,318
- Yeah.
- Yes!

809
00:36:57,422 --> 00:36:58,837
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

810
00:36:59,286 --> 00:37:00,632
<i>[Marty] Mommy, really.</i>

811
00:37:01,978 --> 00:37:03,290
- Yes.
- Yes.

812
00:37:03,497 --> 00:37:05,015
<i>[Le Tigre - My My
Metrocard plays]</i>

813
00:37:10,089 --> 00:37:13,886
<i>[Eden on phone] You did not tell
me how sexy it is to be pregnant.</i>

814
00:37:13,990 --> 00:37:16,303
<i>Were you crazy horny?</i>

815
00:37:16,406 --> 00:37:18,339
<i>It comes out of nowhere.</i>

816
00:37:18,512 --> 00:37:21,411
<i>[Dawn] I honestly
can't even remember.</i>

817
00:37:21,515 --> 00:37:22,515
Hey.

818
00:37:24,034 --> 00:37:25,657
<i>[groans]</i>

819
00:37:25,829 --> 00:37:26,829
[sighs]

820
00:37:31,387 --> 00:37:33,827
<i>[Eden on phone] But girl, you
been to the grocery store lately?</i>

821
00:37:34,355 --> 00:37:36,702
<i>That produce is teasing us.</i>

822
00:37:38,739 --> 00:37:42,812
Two orgasms are better
than one. [laughs]

823
00:37:59,794 --> 00:38:01,209
<i>[music stops]</i>

824
00:38:01,313 --> 00:38:03,315
She's here, she's here.

825
00:38:03,419 --> 00:38:05,283
Nanny Dani is here.

826
00:38:06,076 --> 00:38:07,699
Oh, thank God. [chuckles]

827
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:10,564
You had just moved here

828
00:38:10,736 --> 00:38:14,153
and I went to the new
playground with Tommy.

829
00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:15,914
<i>Everyone was so fancy up there.</i>

830
00:38:16,017 --> 00:38:19,297
One fancy couple liked
how I played with Tommy

831
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,919
<i>and want me to go
and work for them,</i>

832
00:38:21,022 --> 00:38:22,679
<i>and I say I can't.</i>

833
00:38:23,266 --> 00:38:27,408
I work for Marty and Dawn, but they
asked me, just babysit one night.

834
00:38:27,512 --> 00:38:29,479
And I said, okay.

835
00:38:30,066 --> 00:38:35,623
When fancy parents came back, they offered
me fancy drinks and fancy desserts.

836
00:38:35,796 --> 00:38:38,764
One fancy thing led to another and
they offered me a full time job.

837
00:38:38,868 --> 00:38:40,179
And I said yes.

838
00:38:40,594 --> 00:38:43,286
- Whore.
- You don't mean that. She doesn't mean that.

839
00:38:43,390 --> 00:38:45,702
[laughs] You're not that.
- [exhales]

840
00:38:47,980 --> 00:38:51,501
[Eden] Do you have any advice for
me as an upcoming black parent?

841
00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:55,954
No, because you're
not a black parent.

842
00:38:56,057 --> 00:38:58,508
You're going to be a white
parent of a half black child.

843
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,373
Yes. Excellent note.

844
00:39:01,546 --> 00:39:03,226
<i>[door opens]</i>
- Hey, how's everything going?

845
00:39:04,169 --> 00:39:07,137
Pregnancy wise, I'm killing it.

846
00:39:07,241 --> 00:39:10,486
I don't have morning sickness,
but I do have morning horniness.

847
00:39:10,658 --> 00:39:12,419
Afternoon and night as well.

848
00:39:12,522 --> 00:39:14,628
Well, that is wonderful.

849
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,597
This... [growls] Just don't look
at it. It's just way out of hand.

850
00:39:18,770 --> 00:39:21,117
Okay, well, I read
that it's good

851
00:39:21,220 --> 00:39:24,741
to have a birth plan, and
I read some basic ones,

852
00:39:24,845 --> 00:39:27,537
and they are just so sterile.

853
00:39:27,641 --> 00:39:30,126
I mean, all they talk about
is medicine and apparatuses.

854
00:39:30,229 --> 00:39:31,576
I'm like, cool?

855
00:39:31,679 --> 00:39:34,751
I want this birth
to be original,

856
00:39:34,855 --> 00:39:37,167
one that celebrates humanity.

857
00:39:37,271 --> 00:39:38,631
I'm thinking less
in clinical terms

858
00:39:38,721 --> 00:39:40,619
<i>and more along
the line of theme.</i>

859
00:39:40,964 --> 00:39:45,935
And the theme of my birth will be,
drumroll please, Doctor Morris.

860
00:39:46,453 --> 00:39:47,661
[sighs]

861
00:39:47,764 --> 00:39:49,214
Prom.

862
00:39:49,628 --> 00:39:51,803
Prom sucked for me,
Claude hated it too.

863
00:39:51,906 --> 00:39:54,564
<i>A person, giving birth
should be the prom of life.</i>

864
00:39:54,668 --> 00:39:56,601
<i>That's when the pageantry
is truly deserved.</i>

865
00:39:56,704 --> 00:40:02,704
So welcome to... Eden's
prom birth extravaganza.

866
00:40:03,124 --> 00:40:04,609
[laughs]

867
00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:08,026
I've already started building
a epic Spotify playlist.

868
00:40:08,129 --> 00:40:13,065
Okay, I'll, I'll read this when I
have a chance to really take it in.

869
00:40:13,169 --> 00:40:15,205
Actually, that's the
only hard copy I have,

870
00:40:15,309 --> 00:40:18,208
so I will email you guys PDFs.

871
00:40:19,175 --> 00:40:20,659
<i>[tranquil music plays]</i>

872
00:40:21,246 --> 00:40:24,594
And now guys we're going to
gently go into downward dog, okay?

873
00:40:24,698 --> 00:40:25,768
[clears throat]

874
00:40:28,115 --> 00:40:29,668
[swallows loudly]

875
00:40:31,152 --> 00:40:32,153
[gasps]

876
00:40:33,292 --> 00:40:34,362
[groans]

877
00:40:34,501 --> 00:40:37,124
Let's go into upward dog.

878
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,437
[people breathing heavily]

879
00:40:41,404 --> 00:40:42,888
[vomit swirls]

880
00:40:43,337 --> 00:40:44,545
[swallows]

881
00:40:47,099 --> 00:40:48,099
[chokes]

882
00:40:49,343 --> 00:40:50,620
[clears throat]

883
00:40:52,070 --> 00:40:53,070
[swallows]

884
00:40:54,072 --> 00:40:55,072
[exhales]

885
00:40:56,315 --> 00:40:57,420
<i>[grunts]</i>

886
00:40:57,558 --> 00:40:58,766
[exhales]

887
00:41:01,355 --> 00:41:02,356
<i>[music stops]</i>

888
00:41:02,529 --> 00:41:04,531
Oh, it is scorching out here.

889
00:41:04,634 --> 00:41:08,742
What? It's 61 and beautiful.
You are scorching.

890
00:41:08,845 --> 00:41:11,296
Oh, man. It feels like
the surface of the sun.

891
00:41:11,745 --> 00:41:14,644
God, I am flying
through underwear.

892
00:41:14,748 --> 00:41:16,646
Oh, yeah, the random
vagina waters.

893
00:41:16,750 --> 00:41:20,374
It's not piss, it's not
sweat. It's just like a...

894
00:41:20,478 --> 00:41:23,170
A proper mix, like...
like salad dressing.

895
00:41:23,826 --> 00:41:24,861
[exhales]

896
00:41:25,172 --> 00:41:26,632
You sure you gonna
be okay to babysit?

897
00:41:26,656 --> 00:41:28,313
<i>Oh, yeah. Of course.</i>

898
00:41:28,416 --> 00:41:30,073
You and Marty
deserve a date night.

899
00:41:30,522 --> 00:41:31,799
<i>[burping]</i>

900
00:41:35,389 --> 00:41:37,184
Never treble burped before.

901
00:41:37,460 --> 00:41:40,014
You look good, though,
bitch. Let's go.

902
00:41:40,152 --> 00:41:41,602
<i>[electro music plays]</i>

903
00:41:43,224 --> 00:41:45,054
Yes. Oh, are you crowning?

904
00:41:45,157 --> 00:41:47,988
We don't know, but
you got a crown on.

905
00:41:48,091 --> 00:41:50,024
[camera clicking]

906
00:41:50,162 --> 00:41:52,140
I don't know if you're giving
me Little Kim or Rachel Dolezal,

907
00:41:52,164 --> 00:41:53,545
but I'm here for it.

908
00:41:54,063 --> 00:41:55,868
Give me, 'Oops. Did I
just have the last donut?'

909
00:41:55,892 --> 00:41:57,169
What?

910
00:41:57,653 --> 00:42:00,379
Give me shy whore.
You know how to do it.

911
00:42:00,552 --> 00:42:01,726
<i>[camera clicking continues]</i>

912
00:42:03,417 --> 00:42:04,452
[seductively] Hi.

913
00:42:04,625 --> 00:42:05,695
<i>[music stops]</i>

914
00:42:05,868 --> 00:42:07,248
Babe, we got to go to dinner.

915
00:42:07,352 --> 00:42:08,905
[Dawn] I'm in the zone, Marty.

916
00:42:09,043 --> 00:42:10,769
Why is she wearing
a mosquito net?

917
00:42:12,288 --> 00:42:14,014
That's fine.

918
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:15,843
[Tommy coos]

919
00:42:16,016 --> 00:42:19,571
Jesus Christ, [laughs]
you scared me, Tommy.

920
00:42:19,675 --> 00:42:21,677
<i>[tense TV music
plays in background]</i>

921
00:42:21,780 --> 00:42:24,542
[sighs] Okay, I'm not
your mommy or your daddy.

922
00:42:24,645 --> 00:42:27,130
I've always
considered us friends.

923
00:42:27,234 --> 00:42:33,234
So as a friend, what is
going on with the baby thing?

924
00:42:33,896 --> 00:42:35,691
I don't know, it's fun.

925
00:42:36,174 --> 00:42:37,278
It's fun.

926
00:42:37,589 --> 00:42:39,867
I hear that, but I don't know.

927
00:42:39,971 --> 00:42:43,630
To me, being a baby
looks like it sucks.

928
00:42:43,733 --> 00:42:47,634
Like if you were a big boy, I'd
ask you to watch this with me.

929
00:42:47,737 --> 00:42:50,671
It's an R-rated movie.

930
00:42:50,809 --> 00:42:54,019
It's called The Omen.
It's about a boy like you.

931
00:42:54,123 --> 00:42:59,611
- Is he a big boy or a baby?
- He's actually the devil.

932
00:42:59,715 --> 00:43:01,164
Woo? [laughs]

933
00:43:01,268 --> 00:43:02,649
What's the devil?

934
00:43:02,821 --> 00:43:05,306
Okay, let's just watch.
No more spoilers.

935
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:11,410
But if I let you watch, you
cannot tell your parents, okay?

936
00:43:11,727 --> 00:43:16,663
And you're going to
stop acting like a baby.

937
00:43:17,698 --> 00:43:18,803
Deal?

938
00:43:23,670 --> 00:43:25,326
Deal.
- Okay.

939
00:43:26,362 --> 00:43:27,674
He a big boy.

940
00:43:28,398 --> 00:43:29,676
Oh, with a paci, but...

941
00:43:30,331 --> 00:43:31,332
It's a start.

942
00:43:31,505 --> 00:43:32,679
[explosion]

943
00:43:33,645 --> 00:43:34,922
[screams]

944
00:43:38,374 --> 00:43:40,859
Whoa! That was intense.

945
00:43:42,896 --> 00:43:44,863
<i>[Dawn] It's your tone.
[Marty] I have no tone.</i>

946
00:43:44,967 --> 00:43:46,082
<i>- That's the tone I'm...
- Shh!</i>

947
00:43:46,106 --> 00:43:47,106
<i>[door closes]</i>

948
00:43:47,659 --> 00:43:51,801
Hey. He uh... couldn't sleep.

949
00:43:52,284 --> 00:43:55,184
It's okay. All right,
buddy, let's go.

950
00:43:55,287 --> 00:43:57,842
[whispering] Let's go
upstairs. Come on, Tommy.

951
00:43:58,014 --> 00:44:00,430
Come on. [grunts] There we go.

952
00:44:00,534 --> 00:44:01,708
[Tommy whines]

953
00:44:02,018 --> 00:44:03,710
Oh, we're still
doing the paci? Okay.

954
00:44:03,813 --> 00:44:06,644
You got it? All right.
Say good night to Eden.

955
00:44:06,954 --> 00:44:08,749
Oh, what a good dada.

956
00:44:09,025 --> 00:44:11,787
Dada can go fuck himself.
- Totally.

957
00:44:11,890 --> 00:44:14,065
<i>The whole night, he was
just going on and on</i>

958
00:44:14,168 --> 00:44:16,446
and on about my low
milk production.

959
00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:20,243
I mean, he even said I should
quit because I'm stressed

960
00:44:20,347 --> 00:44:22,798
and that I should
feel more confident

961
00:44:22,901 --> 00:44:24,834
and I should feel
good about myself.

962
00:44:24,938 --> 00:44:28,286
And he said I was beautiful.
- That sucks.

963
00:44:28,389 --> 00:44:31,082
When you hear that from somebody
who love and supports you.

964
00:44:31,185 --> 00:44:33,671
It's the worst. He's
such a know it all.

965
00:44:33,774 --> 00:44:37,916
Are you guys having
sexual intercourse?

966
00:44:38,192 --> 00:44:41,713
No. Not since
Melanie was born.

967
00:44:41,817 --> 00:44:44,164
That makes sense. That
makes a ton of sense.

968
00:44:44,267 --> 00:44:46,614
It's not like I
don't want to, I do.

969
00:44:46,718 --> 00:44:48,202
Did you see him in that sweater?

970
00:44:48,375 --> 00:44:49,721
He looks good.

971
00:44:50,273 --> 00:44:52,517
What parent wears white
clothing? [laughs] It's wild.

972
00:44:52,620 --> 00:44:57,764
But there's never a time because we're
so busy and have so many things to do.

973
00:44:57,867 --> 00:44:59,867
And he's always holding a
kid, which is really hot.

974
00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:03,045
But you can't just knock the kid
out of his hand and sit on his dick.

975
00:45:03,148 --> 00:45:05,530
<i>That's not how life
works. [alarm beeping]</i>

976
00:45:05,633 --> 00:45:07,843
God, gotta go milk the donuts.

977
00:45:09,258 --> 00:45:10,915
Here we go again.

978
00:45:12,088 --> 00:45:14,021
All right, I'm going
to ask you something.

979
00:45:14,125 --> 00:45:17,128
How many feedings
are you getting in

980
00:45:17,231 --> 00:45:19,958
with your titty milk
for Melanie in a day.

981
00:45:20,614 --> 00:45:22,098
Like, one day?

982
00:45:22,271 --> 00:45:25,619
You know how the earth
spins on an axis?

983
00:45:25,723 --> 00:45:27,241
I know how it
works, yeah, a day.

984
00:45:27,345 --> 00:45:30,900
So, I would say one-ish

985
00:45:32,246 --> 00:45:33,420
Bitch.

986
00:45:35,146 --> 00:45:36,906
- Bitch.
- Mm-mm bitch.

987
00:45:37,113 --> 00:45:39,702
- Bitch. - Bitch.
- Biatche.

988
00:45:39,806 --> 00:45:42,187
- Bitch. - Bitch.
- Bitch.

989
00:45:42,291 --> 00:45:45,777
- Bitch.
- The stories you tell yourself, bitch.

990
00:45:45,881 --> 00:45:50,471
- Bitch.
- Bah bah bah bitch. - Bitch.

991
00:45:51,714 --> 00:45:54,441
<i>Come on, dude, why
are you doing it?</i>

992
00:45:57,444 --> 00:45:58,859
I just...

993
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:02,690
I just want that
feeling of nourishing.

994
00:46:02,794 --> 00:46:03,968
[fake laughs]

995
00:46:04,244 --> 00:46:06,556
You want to nourish?
I laugh at that.

996
00:46:06,660 --> 00:46:08,904
All you do is nourish.

997
00:46:09,007 --> 00:46:11,941
You nourish Melanie,
you nourish Tommy,

998
00:46:12,045 --> 00:46:13,667
you nourish Marty,
you nourish me,

999
00:46:13,805 --> 00:46:15,462
<i>you nourish the
fucking mail carrier.</i>

1000
00:46:15,911 --> 00:46:19,121
You nourish the bodega guy, you
walk in a room, you're sunshine.

1001
00:46:19,224 --> 00:46:22,296
You're giving light, warmth,
energy without even trying.

1002
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,884
<i>All you do is nourish.</i>

1003
00:46:24,160 --> 00:46:27,094
You're... You're a night time
cruise buffet of nourish.

1004
00:46:27,232 --> 00:46:28,371
Enough.

1005
00:46:28,544 --> 00:46:29,579
[exhales]

1006
00:46:30,442 --> 00:46:33,618
Okay, uhm... Wow. [sighs]

1007
00:46:33,721 --> 00:46:35,521
<i>You know, honestly, I
could use a little break</i>

1008
00:46:35,585 --> 00:46:38,416
because my nipples,
they look like, uhm...

1009
00:46:38,519 --> 00:46:41,315
Have you ever seen a sausage,
but not in the casing?

1010
00:46:41,419 --> 00:46:43,110
That's what my
nipples look like.

1011
00:46:43,214 --> 00:46:44,836
They look like a
melted Tootsie roll,

1012
00:46:44,940 --> 00:46:47,735
just a very long, brown,
skinny, sugary sweet.

1013
00:46:47,839 --> 00:46:49,841
Ew? Mm. [chuckles]

1014
00:46:49,945 --> 00:46:52,395
Sometimes I feel like
getting my nipple in my bra

1015
00:46:52,499 --> 00:46:54,881
is like figuring out how
to fold a fitted sheet.

1016
00:46:54,984 --> 00:46:56,848
There's just so many corners.

1017
00:46:56,952 --> 00:46:58,954
[sharply inhales] Something
to look forward to.

1018
00:46:59,057 --> 00:47:01,853
It's just, I don't
want to be a quitter.

1019
00:47:01,957 --> 00:47:03,348
You don't have to go
out on breastfeeding

1020
00:47:03,372 --> 00:47:05,167
with your tail
between your legs.

1021
00:47:05,443 --> 00:47:07,134
You can fucking attack.

1022
00:47:07,238 --> 00:47:09,309
<i>[Shania Twain - Man! I
Feel Like A Woman plays!]</i>

1023
00:47:09,447 --> 00:47:10,655
[pot smashes]

1024
00:47:10,897 --> 00:47:12,760
I love that flower pot.
- Oh, sorry.

1025
00:47:12,864 --> 00:47:14,176
But I also love that.

1026
00:47:14,279 --> 00:47:15,280
[box thuds]

1027
00:47:15,453 --> 00:47:16,557
[mildly] Ooh.

1028
00:47:16,764 --> 00:47:19,319
Come on. Is it
the espadrilles?

1029
00:47:19,422 --> 00:47:20,527
[mildly] Ha!

1030
00:47:20,838 --> 00:47:22,667
No, Dawn, I want
to see you destroy.

1031
00:47:22,770 --> 00:47:24,427
Everything about
our bodies is wrong.

1032
00:47:24,531 --> 00:47:26,740
You get a complex that
you're not enough,

1033
00:47:26,844 --> 00:47:28,984
so here it is. What
are you going to do?

1034
00:47:29,087 --> 00:47:30,917
Okay, uhm... Yeah.

1035
00:47:31,020 --> 00:47:34,368
You made me feel like I suck,
and I know I don't suck.

1036
00:47:34,472 --> 00:47:36,612
You don't suck shit!

1037
00:47:36,784 --> 00:47:38,303
Oh, God, I think
I peed a little.

1038
00:47:38,752 --> 00:47:40,592
That's right. - You want to pump some more?
- That's right.

1039
00:47:40,616 --> 00:47:42,342
- You wanna pump some more?
- Get him, Tony!

1040
00:47:42,445 --> 00:47:44,447
- Do you wanna pump some more?
- Get him Tony!

1041
00:47:44,551 --> 00:47:47,623
- Do you want to pump some more?
- Get him Tony!

1042
00:47:47,726 --> 00:47:50,419
What's that? What's that,
you finicky little bitch?

1043
00:47:50,522 --> 00:47:53,353
Oh, you want me to
light you on fire?

1044
00:47:53,525 --> 00:47:55,320
No problem.
- [cracks]

1045
00:47:55,493 --> 00:47:56,494
Help me up.

1046
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,255
- [claps]
- [match strikes]

1047
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:01,430
[fire roars]

1048
00:48:03,604 --> 00:48:05,020
<i>[music continues]</i>

1049
00:48:11,612 --> 00:48:12,613
<i>[music stops]</i>

1050
00:48:13,476 --> 00:48:14,822
[traffic hums]

1051
00:48:15,306 --> 00:48:17,377
<i>So make sure that Tommy
wears his big boy undies</i>

1052
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,759
and that he sits on the potty. He
won't like it, but definitely...

1053
00:48:20,863 --> 00:48:22,865
I understand, I will do my best.

1054
00:48:22,969 --> 00:48:26,179
Uhm... God, what
else was I gonna say?

1055
00:48:26,282 --> 00:48:28,698
It's been so long since
I've been back to work.

1056
00:48:28,802 --> 00:48:30,079
I'm just, uhm...

1057
00:48:30,562 --> 00:48:31,988
Don't worry, I've got this.
I'm from East New York.

1058
00:48:32,012 --> 00:48:34,359
I raised, like,
438 kids. [laughs]

1059
00:48:34,463 --> 00:48:36,016
Okay, great. I'm
gonna get going then.

1060
00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:37,707
Go start your work life.

1061
00:48:37,880 --> 00:48:39,440
I'm gonna start my
work life. Thank you.

1062
00:48:39,502 --> 00:48:41,411
What are you, like, the
Puerto Rican Brene Brown?

1063
00:48:41,435 --> 00:48:43,437
Dominican, but it's okay,
my husband's Boricua.

1064
00:48:43,541 --> 00:48:44,542
[laughing]

1065
00:48:45,336 --> 00:48:46,716
<i>[uplifting music plays]</i>

1066
00:49:00,592 --> 00:49:02,594
<i>[female voice]
Welcome back, kiddo!</i>

1067
00:49:02,698 --> 00:49:04,010
[cheering]

1068
00:49:05,321 --> 00:49:06,840
Hi honey!

1069
00:49:07,220 --> 00:49:09,739
Look at you.
- Look at me.

1070
00:49:09,947 --> 00:49:12,673
Your timing is perfect.
I just heard back.

1071
00:49:12,777 --> 00:49:15,676
You're one of the finalists
for the Invisalign campaign.

1072
00:49:15,780 --> 00:49:17,161
Oh, my God, that's amazing.

1073
00:49:17,264 --> 00:49:18,576
They're down to three.

1074
00:49:18,679 --> 00:49:20,164
<i>Oh that's great.</i>

1075
00:49:20,612 --> 00:49:22,487
That is so great. We could
really use the extra money.

1076
00:49:22,511 --> 00:49:25,134
<i>I always dreamed I'd be one
of those nine out of ten</i>

1077
00:49:25,238 --> 00:49:28,172
dentists agree spokespeople
for commercials.

1078
00:49:28,344 --> 00:49:30,450
But I just never
had the chin for TV.

1079
00:49:30,553 --> 00:49:31,796
You have it.

1080
00:49:31,899 --> 00:49:33,349
[scoffs] You know what?

1081
00:49:33,832 --> 00:49:36,214
You have a shot because you
are good looking for a dentist.

1082
00:49:36,318 --> 00:49:37,940
I think this was a
compliment, right?

1083
00:49:38,044 --> 00:49:39,493
And I have found
in my experience,

1084
00:49:39,597 --> 00:49:42,531
good looking dentists
are serial killers,

1085
00:49:43,221 --> 00:49:45,051
<i>but not you.</i>

1086
00:49:45,534 --> 00:49:48,433
Fingers crossed. I'm going to
keep you posted on this one, okay?

1087
00:49:48,537 --> 00:49:49,848
Thanks.

1088
00:49:50,125 --> 00:49:52,299
Welcome back. Come
on, come on everybody.

1089
00:49:52,403 --> 00:49:53,507
[cheering]

1090
00:49:54,267 --> 00:49:55,544
[indistinct chatter]

1091
00:49:57,339 --> 00:49:58,961
Hey, Tommy. Just
coming to check.

1092
00:49:59,065 --> 00:50:00,998
Did you put on your
big boy undies?

1093
00:50:01,101 --> 00:50:02,516
<i>[sinister sting]</i>

1094
00:50:02,654 --> 00:50:04,656
<i>- [whispering voices]
- [doors slamming]</i>

1095
00:50:05,450 --> 00:50:07,452
<i>- [baby giggling]
- [gasps]</i>

1096
00:50:07,556 --> 00:50:08,626
<i>[sinister sting]</i>

1097
00:50:09,316 --> 00:50:11,594
[prays in Spanish]

1098
00:50:11,905 --> 00:50:13,562
<i>[rising sting]</i>

1099
00:50:13,769 --> 00:50:15,046
[screaming]

1100
00:50:16,599 --> 00:50:17,704
[cracker crunching]

1101
00:50:20,017 --> 00:50:21,087
[heaves]

1102
00:50:26,126 --> 00:50:27,472
[swallows] Ah...

1103
00:50:27,576 --> 00:50:28,576
[phone vibrates]

1104
00:50:28,611 --> 00:50:30,096
[sighs]

1105
00:50:30,820 --> 00:50:35,135
<i>[Dawn on phone] Babe, I am so
sorry, but I can't make the amnio.</i>

1106
00:50:35,239 --> 00:50:37,448
<i>Our new nanny just quit.</i>

1107
00:50:37,862 --> 00:50:40,254
<i>I didn't know Satan worship was
a part of regression for a child,</i>

1108
00:50:40,278 --> 00:50:42,349
<i>but I got to get the fuck home.</i>

1109
00:50:42,729 --> 00:50:46,146
<i>He drew six six sixes and upside
down crosses all over his room.</i>

1110
00:50:46,974 --> 00:50:49,046
<i>He hissed at her in tongues.</i>

1111
00:50:49,149 --> 00:50:52,187
<i>Uh, anyways, I'm so
sorry. Good luck, Boo!</i>

1112
00:50:54,637 --> 00:50:56,122
<i>[somber music plays]</i>

1113
00:50:58,055 --> 00:50:59,401
[sharply inhales]

1114
00:51:00,022 --> 00:51:01,161
[exhales]

1115
00:51:08,824 --> 00:51:13,587
<i>Hey Dad. It's [clears throat]
Eden, your grown daughter.</i>

1116
00:51:13,794 --> 00:51:18,523
Uhm, I just wanted to let you
know that I'm having a baby.

1117
00:51:18,972 --> 00:51:24,972
And I have a really big
appointment today. Amniocentesis.

1118
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:28,809
I know you don't
like tall buildings

1119
00:51:28,913 --> 00:51:31,536
or... or small buildings
[laughs] or hospitals,

1120
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:35,678
but I was just curious if
you might want to come.

1121
00:51:36,162 --> 00:51:39,993
I can text you the details. I
know, I know, it's last minute.

1122
00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:42,547
Either way, though,
congratulations.

1123
00:51:42,651 --> 00:51:46,482
You're... you're going
to be a grandpa, so...

1124
00:51:46,586 --> 00:51:47,966
Yeah. Okay.

1125
00:51:48,070 --> 00:51:49,451
Bye.

1126
00:51:49,727 --> 00:51:50,727
<i>[music continues]</i>

1127
00:51:52,074 --> 00:51:53,317
[sighs]

1128
00:51:54,076 --> 00:51:54,904
<i>[music fades]</i>

1129
00:51:55,008 --> 00:51:56,320
[sonogram whirs]

1130
00:51:56,423 --> 00:51:59,150
Woah.
- Looking good.

1131
00:52:00,289 --> 00:52:02,395
Fantastic head shape.

1132
00:52:02,533 --> 00:52:04,776
Hey, speaking of head
shape, what do you think?

1133
00:52:04,880 --> 00:52:05,674
You know, with the shaved.

1134
00:52:05,777 --> 00:52:06,777
[heaves]

1135
00:52:07,952 --> 00:52:09,160
It's nice.

1136
00:52:09,264 --> 00:52:10,920
It's terrible, but
I appreciate it.

1137
00:52:11,024 --> 00:52:12,336
[chair buzzes]

1138
00:52:12,681 --> 00:52:15,166
Do you want to know the sex?
- No, thank you.

1139
00:52:15,270 --> 00:52:17,134
I don't want to put a
binary on them right now,

1140
00:52:17,237 --> 00:52:20,413
but I feel like I know.
Maternal intuition.

1141
00:52:20,654 --> 00:52:22,863
It is a male spirit.
- Uh-huh.

1142
00:52:22,967 --> 00:52:28,075
How wild is it to have a
vagina and be growing a penis?

1143
00:52:28,248 --> 00:52:30,526
I have a baby dick
inside of me? What?

1144
00:52:30,630 --> 00:52:32,114
Yeah. I never thought of that.

1145
00:52:32,287 --> 00:52:35,117
Little fetus penis.
That almost rhymes.

1146
00:52:35,255 --> 00:52:36,575
But I don't want
to know formally,

1147
00:52:36,636 --> 00:52:38,672
because I want
Dawn here for that.

1148
00:52:38,776 --> 00:52:40,936
And I'm pretty sure she'd
want to be here for that, too.

1149
00:52:42,055 --> 00:52:43,712
Just to toss it out...

1150
00:52:43,919 --> 00:52:49,511
You might want to hire a doula
just in case Dawn's too busy

1151
00:52:49,614 --> 00:52:50,857
with, you know, her family.

1152
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,686
Wait, what? Say it again.

1153
00:52:53,273 --> 00:52:55,769
Well, Dawn might be too busy with her
family, you know, given the schedule.

1154
00:52:55,793 --> 00:52:59,383
[laughs] No, no, no.
Dawn and I are family.

1155
00:52:59,486 --> 00:53:02,765
We are sisters.
- Uh-huh. - Spouses.

1156
00:53:03,145 --> 00:53:05,251
Parents to each other at times.

1157
00:53:05,354 --> 00:53:09,324
So I just hear you, thank
you, but no thank you.

1158
00:53:10,048 --> 00:53:12,050
So, uhm...

1159
00:53:12,327 --> 00:53:14,536
Amnio time. You ready?
It's a pretty big needle.

1160
00:53:14,639 --> 00:53:17,470
[exhales] Yes. Just don't
stab my baby's dick.

1161
00:53:17,711 --> 00:53:19,413
I'm going to be more
worried about the head.

1162
00:53:19,437 --> 00:53:20,645
Both are precious.

1163
00:53:22,337 --> 00:53:23,683
[sonogram whirs]

1164
00:53:23,855 --> 00:53:24,994
It's a good sized pocket.

1165
00:53:26,962 --> 00:53:28,101
<i>Thank you.</i>
- [gasps]

1166
00:53:28,377 --> 00:53:31,311
Oh, what?
- I told you it was big.

1167
00:53:31,415 --> 00:53:33,693
That's not big.
That's... that's LOL.

1168
00:53:33,796 --> 00:53:34,866
What are we...

1169
00:53:34,970 --> 00:53:36,523
That's for my...

1170
00:53:36,696 --> 00:53:38,076
- Yeah.
- Cool.

1171
00:53:38,284 --> 00:53:40,355
No. Cool.
- Okay, you ready? - Mh-hm.

1172
00:53:40,734 --> 00:53:43,427
- Okay.
- Mh-hm. [inhales sharply]

1173
00:53:43,634 --> 00:53:44,634
All right.

1174
00:53:44,842 --> 00:53:46,602
[screams]

1175
00:53:46,775 --> 00:53:48,363
No no no no no no
no no no. Just stop.

1176
00:53:48,466 --> 00:53:49,961
Just give me a sec.
Just give me a sec.

1177
00:53:49,985 --> 00:53:51,297
[inhales sharply]

1178
00:53:51,676 --> 00:53:54,231
Wow, you are such a big
man. You need that needle.

1179
00:53:54,334 --> 00:53:55,614
It does... You're
double my size.

1180
00:53:55,715 --> 00:53:57,337
What do you need
this needle for?

1181
00:53:57,613 --> 00:54:01,307
It does eventually have to
go inside to get the fluid.

1182
00:54:01,410 --> 00:54:03,550
That needle's nuts!

1183
00:54:03,723 --> 00:54:06,001
Okay, what about a blindfold?

1184
00:54:06,104 --> 00:54:07,520
How about that?

1185
00:54:08,141 --> 00:54:10,902
We don't blindfold our patients,
it's... it's unethical.

1186
00:54:11,109 --> 00:54:14,043
Okay, how about a gag? Hm?

1187
00:54:14,872 --> 00:54:16,736
No gags, no blindfolds.

1188
00:54:16,943 --> 00:54:19,739
We don't do medicine
that way. It'll be fine.

1189
00:54:19,877 --> 00:54:20,981
[exhales]

1190
00:54:21,327 --> 00:54:23,156
You won't even feel it.
- Okay, okay.

1191
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:24,606
Okay? Good.

1192
00:54:25,883 --> 00:54:27,298
Doctor Morris. [exhales]

1193
00:54:27,505 --> 00:54:29,369
<i>- Good, good, good.</i>
- Je trust.

1194
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:30,957
- Okay.
- [sonogram whirs]

1195
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:32,786
[screams] No, no!

1196
00:54:33,580 --> 00:54:37,412
[sighs]
- Mm-mm No. Sorry.

1197
00:54:37,550 --> 00:54:38,999
<i>I wasn't even close.</i>

1198
00:54:39,137 --> 00:54:41,761
Mm, I was ready,
but I... [chuckles]

1199
00:54:42,900 --> 00:54:44,729
Okay.
- Okay, okay.

1200
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:46,455
Okay.
<i>- I'll gag you.</i>

1201
00:54:46,938 --> 00:54:48,181
Ah...

1202
00:54:48,457 --> 00:54:52,185
Now don't tell anyone.

1203
00:54:52,358 --> 00:54:53,497
<i>[arguing outside]</i>

1204
00:54:53,980 --> 00:54:54,980
[exhales]

1205
00:54:55,913 --> 00:54:56,983
[Doctor Morris] Perfect.

1206
00:54:58,295 --> 00:54:59,365
[Eden] Oh, Jesus.

1207
00:54:59,572 --> 00:55:00,894
[female voice]
Sorry Doctor Morris!

1208
00:55:00,918 --> 00:55:03,196
This is my dad.
[Doctor Morris] Oh.

1209
00:55:03,438 --> 00:55:04,758
What are you doing
to my kid, man?

1210
00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:07,200
You could come in and
just... just take a seat.

1211
00:55:07,338 --> 00:55:08,408
- Okay.
- Hi.

1212
00:55:08,512 --> 00:55:09,512
<i>[Dad] How you doing?</i>

1213
00:55:11,515 --> 00:55:12,895
Ready? [Eden] Mh-hm.

1214
00:55:14,897 --> 00:55:15,897
<i>[sonogram whirs]</i>

1215
00:55:15,967 --> 00:55:18,763
Okay, there it is.

1216
00:55:19,799 --> 00:55:21,110
[Dad screams]

1217
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,009
Sorry. I'm sorry.

1218
00:55:23,285 --> 00:55:25,045
Keep going, keep
going, keep going.

1219
00:55:25,425 --> 00:55:26,806
[exhales] Sorry.
I'm sorry, honey.

1220
00:55:26,944 --> 00:55:28,739
<i>[traffic hum] [birds chirping]</i>

1221
00:55:34,192 --> 00:55:35,780
If this isn't good...
- No, no, no.

1222
00:55:35,884 --> 00:55:37,610
It's great, it's
great, it's fantastic.

1223
00:55:43,029 --> 00:55:44,444
[sighs]

1224
00:55:44,755 --> 00:55:47,827
So who's the uhm...
Who's the dad?

1225
00:55:48,828 --> 00:55:50,450
This guy Claude.

1226
00:55:50,864 --> 00:55:55,731
He reminds me of Mom, actually,
from what you've described.

1227
00:55:57,975 --> 00:55:58,975
Where the fuck is he?

1228
00:56:00,805 --> 00:56:01,806
He died.

1229
00:56:04,153 --> 00:56:05,153
Oh wow.

1230
00:56:06,639 --> 00:56:07,812
He is like Mom.

1231
00:56:08,710 --> 00:56:09,849
[laughs]

1232
00:56:12,092 --> 00:56:13,335
Shit.

1233
00:56:13,577 --> 00:56:15,613
Yeah.
- Honey, I'm so sorry.

1234
00:56:16,303 --> 00:56:17,684
Yeah.

1235
00:56:17,995 --> 00:56:19,341
Does he have any family?

1236
00:56:19,617 --> 00:56:22,275
Not really. It's
just small like ours.

1237
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:23,794
Not a lot left.

1238
00:56:24,311 --> 00:56:27,660
I tracked down his closest
relative who got his ashes.

1239
00:56:27,763 --> 00:56:30,732
It was his second
cousin, and we zoomed.

1240
00:56:30,835 --> 00:56:33,804
I thought it was going to
be this mind blowing moment,

1241
00:56:33,907 --> 00:56:36,600
but it definitely
just creeped her out.

1242
00:56:37,601 --> 00:56:38,809
W... were you together long?

1243
00:56:40,673 --> 00:56:43,261
No, not... not long.

1244
00:56:43,572 --> 00:56:45,471
But I don't know,
I don't know...

1245
00:56:46,333 --> 00:56:48,888
It was an important connection.

1246
00:56:48,991 --> 00:56:50,061
A real connection.

1247
00:56:51,131 --> 00:56:52,201
Connection?

1248
00:56:52,512 --> 00:56:55,446
It can't be measured
in time, you know?

1249
00:56:55,550 --> 00:56:57,690
Grammy and grandpa were
together for 50 years.

1250
00:56:57,793 --> 00:56:59,692
They hated each other's guts.

1251
00:56:59,795 --> 00:57:01,141
[laughs]

1252
00:57:01,797 --> 00:57:07,354
And I know, myself, I've not been the
best parent, perhaps, in the world.

1253
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:13,458
But maybe one of the perks of being
a bad dad is that, I don't know...

1254
00:57:13,637 --> 00:57:17,779
You turned out so good. So,
so strong, so resourceful.

1255
00:57:19,539 --> 00:57:24,475
So you think if you were a good
dad, I'd be a worse person?

1256
00:57:24,579 --> 00:57:27,167
Exactly. That's exactly what I mean.
- [laughs]

1257
00:57:27,271 --> 00:57:29,905
I mean, there's all kinds of great
dads out there with shitty kids, right?

1258
00:57:29,929 --> 00:57:32,345
That's true.
That's really true.

1259
00:57:32,794 --> 00:57:38,794
If a guy like me, right, with the scant
crumbs of parenting that I put forth,

1260
00:57:39,317 --> 00:57:45,317
can call somebody as sensational
as you are his daughter,

1261
00:57:46,532 --> 00:57:47,774
Well, you got this.

1262
00:57:48,292 --> 00:57:49,500
You can do this.

1263
00:57:51,882 --> 00:57:53,539
Thanks, Dad.
<i>- [soft piano music plays]</i>

1264
00:57:53,711 --> 00:57:56,680
Look, honey, I know this
should be, like, a great time

1265
00:57:56,783 --> 00:58:01,685
for this to turn into a
Nora Ephron movie, you know?

1266
00:58:01,788 --> 00:58:03,618
And I come to all your
appointments and stuff,

1267
00:58:03,997 --> 00:58:06,113
but I'm sorry, honey, I just can't,
I won't. It's not going to happen.

1268
00:58:06,137 --> 00:58:08,097
You know, just sitting
here, I just start to feel.

1269
00:58:08,174 --> 00:58:09,876
I'm just... My heart's
racing. It's just not good.

1270
00:58:09,900 --> 00:58:11,291
I don't feel good. You
know, - I feel you.

1271
00:58:11,315 --> 00:58:13,386
It's okay. This...

1272
00:58:13,697 --> 00:58:16,320
This was good. I got a
lot out of this crumb.

1273
00:58:16,493 --> 00:58:19,150
No, it... it sucks.

1274
00:58:19,426 --> 00:58:24,328
But I want you to know that I would
really love to meet your baby someday.

1275
00:58:24,673 --> 00:58:27,504
Okay? But I gotta go... I
gotta go now. I'm sorry.

1276
00:58:34,407 --> 00:58:35,822
Thanks, Dad.
- Okay.

1277
00:58:38,169 --> 00:58:39,169
[exhales]

1278
00:58:41,621 --> 00:58:42,864
[sighs]

1279
00:58:44,728 --> 00:58:46,315
<i>[birds chirping]</i>

1280
00:58:50,423 --> 00:58:51,700
<i>[music fades]</i>

1281
00:58:51,873 --> 00:58:54,220
I missed the Invisalign meeting.

1282
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,509
<i>They're going to go with someone
else and we need that money.</i>

1283
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:58,811
<i>[Marty] Okay, but I can't
take time off work like you.</i>

1284
00:58:58,914 --> 00:59:00,651
Just give it a couple more
weeks, we'll find another Nanny.

1285
00:59:00,675 --> 00:59:01,745
Guys. Hey, guys.

1286
00:59:01,848 --> 00:59:04,541
Hey. I got your message.

1287
00:59:04,644 --> 00:59:07,992
I was just in the area
after my appointment

1288
00:59:08,096 --> 00:59:10,754
and saw your share
location was here.

1289
00:59:10,857 --> 00:59:15,344
Used my keys. Hey.
[chuckles] So, uh, yeah.

1290
00:59:15,448 --> 00:59:19,245
Good news from the appointment
is my, appetite's coming back?

1291
00:59:19,348 --> 00:59:20,348
[laughs]

1292
00:59:20,453 --> 00:59:22,179
So, uhm, 'sup?

1293
00:59:23,283 --> 00:59:24,630
[chip crunching]

1294
00:59:30,118 --> 00:59:31,119
Uhm... [claps]

1295
00:59:31,222 --> 00:59:34,640
My amnio was pretty good,

1296
00:59:34,881 --> 00:59:37,815
but Doctor Morris was
just like, "Where's Dawn?"

1297
00:59:37,919 --> 00:59:42,682
And I didn't know what to say.
He was kind of pissed and sad.

1298
00:59:42,786 --> 00:59:47,584
Just because you said you were
going to be at all the appointments.

1299
00:59:48,999 --> 00:59:51,588
So just maybe you
shouldn't miss more.

1300
00:59:51,898 --> 00:59:55,108
Our children were
almost abandoned

1301
00:59:55,212 --> 00:59:58,905
because you decide to
show Tommy The Omen.

1302
00:59:59,009 --> 01:00:01,528
He just demon-ed our nanny
right out of our house.

1303
01:00:01,632 --> 01:00:06,154
Whoa! He told you?
We had a deal.

1304
01:00:06,257 --> 01:00:08,156
We, you know, pinky-sweared
out or whatever,

1305
01:00:08,259 --> 01:00:10,296
but that's their
language at that point.

1306
01:00:10,399 --> 01:00:11,953
He's four going on one.

1307
01:00:12,125 --> 01:00:14,231
He's not beholden to
pinky swears, Eden.

1308
01:00:14,334 --> 01:00:15,888
<i>I'm so sorry.</i>

1309
01:00:16,233 --> 01:00:18,925
I was trying to do a nice
thing, and it backfired.

1310
01:00:19,236 --> 01:00:20,236
And I'll...

1311
01:00:21,065 --> 01:00:22,065
I'll go.

1312
01:00:26,243 --> 01:00:27,554
Okay, I'll see ya.

1313
01:00:28,003 --> 01:00:30,178
Okay, one last thing.
- Oh my God.

1314
01:00:30,281 --> 01:00:32,974
<i>Doctor Morris was just like,
"Maybe you should get a doula."</i>

1315
01:00:33,077 --> 01:00:36,184
And I was like, "What? What
are you talking about?"

1316
01:00:36,287 --> 01:00:38,704
"I don't think Dawn's
going to miss more."

1317
01:00:38,911 --> 01:00:42,017
So should I even
consider getting a doula?

1318
01:00:42,121 --> 01:00:43,536
Yeah.

1319
01:00:43,985 --> 01:00:47,298
I think you should get a doula
because we have no childcare.

1320
01:00:47,402 --> 01:00:48,575
Get a doula.

1321
01:00:48,886 --> 01:00:50,785
Got it. Okay, I'm
going to get a doula.

1322
01:00:50,957 --> 01:00:54,098
Just get a back up doula.
Not a definite doula.

1323
01:00:54,202 --> 01:00:57,515
I'm going to get a doula back
up. Not a doula definite.

1324
01:00:57,619 --> 01:00:59,219
No. You should get a
doula as a definite.

1325
01:00:59,966 --> 01:01:02,072
Definitely get yourself a doula

1326
01:01:02,175 --> 01:01:03,452
I... I... I got it.

1327
01:01:03,556 --> 01:01:05,351
Sorry about that. All right.

1328
01:01:05,454 --> 01:01:07,180
I'll uh... [keys rattle]

1329
01:01:07,284 --> 01:01:08,284
You can have the chips.

1330
01:01:09,286 --> 01:01:10,943
<i>[quirky music plays]</i>

1331
01:01:11,046 --> 01:01:14,463
Why does she still have a key?
- I don't know.

1332
01:01:14,567 --> 01:01:16,396
[both] Same. [laughing]

1333
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:20,573
Crazy. Your face, your
resume, your vibe.

1334
01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,368
We are very similar.

1335
01:01:22,886 --> 01:01:25,036
I think you're gonna find that all
doulas are super similar to you, dude.

1336
01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:26,540
You should just be
a doula. [laughing]

1337
01:01:27,373 --> 01:01:28,685
Thank you.

1338
01:01:29,064 --> 01:01:31,377
I'm looking for a backup
Dawn, and she's like a foil,

1339
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,069
whereas you're like
a... [both] Saran wrap.

1340
01:01:34,345 --> 01:01:36,278
You know...
- I know what you mean. [laughing]

1341
01:01:38,902 --> 01:01:40,110
I'm going to have to pass.

1342
01:01:42,975 --> 01:01:44,286
<i>[music continues]</i>

1343
01:01:45,460 --> 01:01:46,806
[chuckles]

1344
01:01:53,433 --> 01:01:54,331
[exhales]

1345
01:01:54,434 --> 01:01:55,642
Okay. You can go.

1346
01:01:55,919 --> 01:01:58,784
Why am I a doula
as a man? Simple.

1347
01:01:59,198 --> 01:02:01,510
I just want to honor
the female body.

1348
01:02:01,648 --> 01:02:02,995
Get out!

1349
01:02:03,409 --> 01:02:05,963
I'm sorry. I know it sounds
creepy, but it's true.

1350
01:02:06,067 --> 01:02:07,447
<i>I really mean it.</i>

1351
01:02:07,862 --> 01:02:10,416
[sighs] Let me hear
it one more time.

1352
01:02:10,657 --> 01:02:12,694
I want to honor the female body.

1353
01:02:12,832 --> 01:02:14,144
I'm sorry.

1354
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:17,354
Maybe I'm backwards. but
when you say that I get sick.

1355
01:02:17,457 --> 01:02:18,665
That's your journey.

1356
01:02:18,769 --> 01:02:20,219
Okay, don't say journey.

1357
01:02:20,322 --> 01:02:21,322
Get out of here.

1358
01:02:22,497 --> 01:02:24,533
Your name? Dragana.

1359
01:02:24,637 --> 01:02:26,294
What does that mean,
a female dragon?

1360
01:02:26,466 --> 01:02:27,571
No.

1361
01:02:27,847 --> 01:02:29,193
I figured. I was just joking.

1362
01:02:30,539 --> 01:02:33,197
So what's your experience level?

1363
01:02:33,301 --> 01:02:36,166
40 years doula, 40
years wet nurse.

1364
01:02:37,167 --> 01:02:39,410
You've been a wet
nurse for 40 years?

1365
01:02:39,514 --> 01:02:42,379
Lactating every day since 16.

1366
01:02:42,517 --> 01:02:43,656
[gasps]

1367
01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:46,590
[claps] Hallelujah.

1368
01:02:46,693 --> 01:02:50,421
I mean, people don't even know
about the phenomenon of wet nursing,

1369
01:02:50,525 --> 01:02:54,840
keeping milk pumping through your
titties to feed other people's babies.

1370
01:02:56,669 --> 01:02:58,844
I love this, this electricity.

1371
01:03:00,431 --> 01:03:02,468
You're the one.
You're back up, Dawn.

1372
01:03:03,710 --> 01:03:04,850
Okay.

1373
01:03:05,678 --> 01:03:06,678
<i>[music stops]</i>

1374
01:03:06,748 --> 01:03:07,922
Tommy.

1375
01:03:08,094 --> 01:03:09,786
You gonna be good to Blanche?

1376
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,109
Blanche, you're not afraid of
witches or anything like that?

1377
01:03:12,133 --> 01:03:13,962
Demons, chupacabras?

1378
01:03:14,273 --> 01:03:16,378
<i>[Dawn] You can say so.
- No? - No judgment. [laughs]</i>

1379
01:03:16,689 --> 01:03:18,449
You're locked in.
You are locked in.

1380
01:03:18,622 --> 01:03:19,726
Bye. You guys.

1381
01:03:19,830 --> 01:03:21,625
Bye. Love you so much.

1382
01:03:21,728 --> 01:03:23,316
<i>[Marty] The good times are here.</i>

1383
01:03:23,420 --> 01:03:24,559
[Tommy whines]

1384
01:03:24,662 --> 01:03:26,043
<i>[soft music plays]</i>

1385
01:03:29,219 --> 01:03:30,530
[Marty] Tommy, be good.

1386
01:03:30,703 --> 01:03:33,499
[Dawn] Love you so much.
- See ya!

1387
01:03:33,706 --> 01:03:35,604
[high fives, kisses]

1388
01:03:50,171 --> 01:03:52,276
<i>[Tommy] Mom!</i> [hitting door]

1389
01:03:54,416 --> 01:03:56,625
<i>Mom! Mommy!</i>

1390
01:03:57,834 --> 01:04:00,008
Mommy! Mom!

1391
01:04:02,114 --> 01:04:06,359
[singing] Happy
Birthday, dear Daddy

1392
01:04:08,775 --> 01:04:13,194
[singing] Happy Birthday to you

1393
01:04:13,332 --> 01:04:14,574
[blows]

1394
01:04:17,923 --> 01:04:20,097
[biting sounds]

1395
01:04:20,615 --> 01:04:22,815
<i>[Marty] The monsters are gonna
be faster than the humans.</i>

1396
01:04:23,342 --> 01:04:24,584
[biting sounds]

1397
01:04:25,171 --> 01:04:26,379
[laughs]

1398
01:04:33,559 --> 01:04:35,354
<i>[music fades]</i>

1399
01:04:36,562 --> 01:04:38,150
<i>[door opens] [Doctor
Morris] Dawn!</i>

1400
01:04:38,253 --> 01:04:39,668
Good to see you. Been a while.

1401
01:04:39,772 --> 01:04:40,807
Yeah, you too.

1402
01:04:40,911 --> 01:04:42,050
I've been swamped.

1403
01:04:42,361 --> 01:04:44,639
<i>Work and kids and work and kids.</i>

1404
01:04:44,742 --> 01:04:47,849
It was also Marty's birthday
weekend. No big deal.

1405
01:04:47,953 --> 01:04:49,989
More work, more kids.

1406
01:04:50,093 --> 01:04:55,029
But I took the day off to sort of
break it up to be here. So, yeah.

1407
01:04:55,132 --> 01:04:57,134
I am so grateful
to have you back.

1408
01:04:57,238 --> 01:05:00,517
I'm running on fumes.
- Oh yeah, the end.

1409
01:05:00,620 --> 01:05:05,142
Yeah, so close but so far. And it
only gets worse from here. [laughs]

1410
01:05:05,591 --> 01:05:11,424
My wife and I had a
babymoon little trip,

1411
01:05:11,562 --> 01:05:13,254
before the baby was
born to celebrate.

1412
01:05:13,461 --> 01:05:15,704
Because you don't have time after, right?
- That's right.

1413
01:05:17,361 --> 01:05:19,053
It's the last time I had hair.

1414
01:05:20,571 --> 01:05:21,918
And truthfully, a wife.

1415
01:05:22,228 --> 01:05:23,436
Oh.

1416
01:05:23,643 --> 01:05:26,094
Oh no, she's not dead.
She just hates bald guys.

1417
01:05:26,198 --> 01:05:27,758
Tried to fix it with
these stupid plugs,

1418
01:05:27,785 --> 01:05:30,167
but now I look like a
fucking monster. [laughs]

1419
01:05:30,443 --> 01:05:35,897
No, you're wearing
plugs? I had zero clue.

1420
01:05:36,001 --> 01:05:38,486
Same. They look natural.

1421
01:05:38,589 --> 01:05:42,524
Very, like, I want to
run my finger in that.

1422
01:05:42,628 --> 01:05:46,080
Thank you. Still, a
babymoon is a good idea.

1423
01:05:46,183 --> 01:05:47,747
That is a really good
idea. I just uhm...

1424
01:05:47,771 --> 01:05:52,155
It would be so weird and
sad to go alone. [laughs]

1425
01:05:52,293 --> 01:05:53,535
I would go with you.
- What?

1426
01:05:53,639 --> 01:05:58,540
Yeah I... I really need
this... to do for you.

1427
01:05:58,644 --> 01:06:01,543
I want to do this for you.

1428
01:06:03,856 --> 01:06:05,478
You're a good doctor.

1429
01:06:06,203 --> 01:06:08,033
[pop music plays]

1430
01:06:08,136 --> 01:06:10,207
Whoo! All right!

1431
01:06:10,690 --> 01:06:14,108
Mama's ready to let her hair
down and take her tits out.

1432
01:06:14,211 --> 01:06:17,421
<i>I'm free. Oh my God.
- [dance music plays]</i>

1433
01:06:17,525 --> 01:06:20,010
Oh, my God, I haven't been on
a bridge in a while. [gags]

1434
01:06:20,114 --> 01:06:23,186
When I say baby, you
say moon, baby...

1435
01:06:23,289 --> 01:06:25,084
- Moon. - Baby...
- Moon.

1436
01:06:25,188 --> 01:06:26,568
- Baby...
- Moon.

1437
01:06:26,741 --> 01:06:28,950
Babymoon, here we go.

1438
01:06:29,054 --> 01:06:30,469
Okay, I'm just gonna lay back.

1439
01:06:30,572 --> 01:06:31,953
Woo!

1440
01:06:32,195 --> 01:06:33,506
<i>[tranquil music plays]</i>

1441
01:06:38,718 --> 01:06:39,996
[exhales]

1442
01:06:40,755 --> 01:06:42,895
<i>[woman] Welcome, champagne?</i>

1443
01:06:42,999 --> 01:06:44,459
[man] Hi, I'll take
these. [Dawn] Thank you.

1444
01:06:44,483 --> 01:06:48,245
- Hi. Oh, sorry, I'm pregnant.
- Okay.

1445
01:06:48,349 --> 01:06:51,421
So, do you have anything
that's non-alcoholic?

1446
01:06:51,524 --> 01:06:53,630
Yeah. Of course. Here you go.

1447
01:06:53,733 --> 01:06:57,013
Oh, actually, is this one of
those flowers you can eat?

1448
01:06:57,289 --> 01:07:01,155
Like, one of those fun,
edible flowers or just a...

1449
01:07:01,741 --> 01:07:04,296
big dumb flower you plopped
in the water. [chuckles]

1450
01:07:04,399 --> 01:07:05,959
I don't know, these
are just the flowers

1451
01:07:05,987 --> 01:07:08,645
we have here in all the water.

1452
01:07:11,199 --> 01:07:12,752
Well, I'll pass.

1453
01:07:12,856 --> 01:07:14,823
Okay, of course. No problem.

1454
01:07:15,100 --> 01:07:16,584
Congrats, by the way.

1455
01:07:16,687 --> 01:07:17,826
Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

1456
01:07:18,620 --> 01:07:19,794
<i>[folk music plays]</i>

1457
01:07:22,452 --> 01:07:26,180
[Dawn] ...out of this world. [Eden] Whoo!
- Okay!

1458
01:07:26,283 --> 01:07:29,148
Yes, I'm getting country,
I'm getting city.

1459
01:07:29,252 --> 01:07:31,323
I'm just feeling wealthy.

1460
01:07:32,634 --> 01:07:36,086
Oh, hey! Oh, ho!

1461
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:41,091
Oh my God, look at this bed.
- Yes.

1462
01:07:41,195 --> 01:07:44,094
Look at you.
- So Japanese and so Feng Shui.

1463
01:07:44,198 --> 01:07:45,798
Get on here. It's so
comfortable. Try it.

1464
01:07:46,855 --> 01:07:48,167
<i>Oh my goodness.</i>

1465
01:07:48,271 --> 01:07:49,858
<i>Oh, and there's free wine.</i>

1466
01:07:49,962 --> 01:07:50,859
Ohh...

1467
01:07:50,963 --> 01:07:52,482
That is... sounds good.

1468
01:07:52,585 --> 01:07:53,586
Okay.

1469
01:07:53,759 --> 01:07:54,898
<i>It's a cab sauv.</i>

1470
01:07:55,001 --> 01:07:56,555
<i>My favorite.</i>
- Ohh.

1471
01:07:56,969 --> 01:08:00,179
I'm gonna go wash my poon
because she is feeling dank.

1472
01:08:00,283 --> 01:08:03,251
Ohh. <i>- Comfy, right?</i>
- Yes.

1473
01:08:03,424 --> 01:08:04,873
Bitch, it's a babymoon.

1474
01:08:04,977 --> 01:08:07,393
[chuckles] Whoo!

1475
01:08:09,568 --> 01:08:11,432
Ah, I don't...

1476
01:08:12,329 --> 01:08:15,367
Oh, okay. That...
that did help.

1477
01:08:15,470 --> 01:08:16,575
Okay.

1478
01:08:17,679 --> 01:08:18,679
Ah!

1479
01:08:21,787 --> 01:08:23,133
[clears throat]

1480
01:08:28,138 --> 01:08:30,175
[exhales]

1481
01:08:40,150 --> 01:08:41,669
<i>[tranquil music plays]</i>

1482
01:08:41,945 --> 01:08:45,466
Welcome. Dawn on this table,
other guest on this one.

1483
01:08:45,569 --> 01:08:48,054
Please undress and get settled,
and we'll be back in a moment.

1484
01:08:48,158 --> 01:08:49,332
[Dawn] Thank you.

1485
01:08:51,782 --> 01:08:55,131
Okay. Can you lay on
your stomach, please?

1486
01:08:55,234 --> 01:08:57,340
Oh. No, I'm... I'm pregnant.

1487
01:08:57,443 --> 01:08:58,513
Okay.

1488
01:08:58,927 --> 01:09:01,171
There is a button to
click if you are pregnant.

1489
01:09:01,275 --> 01:09:04,105
Just so we can get a special
trained person for you.

1490
01:09:04,209 --> 01:09:05,693
Did you click it?
- I didn't book it.

1491
01:09:05,796 --> 01:09:09,110
She did. Dawn, did you
click a pregnant button?

1492
01:09:09,214 --> 01:09:13,079
<i>[Dawn] Oh, so good
already right there.</i>

1493
01:09:13,183 --> 01:09:15,668
[whispering] Okay, so...
what. should we do?

1494
01:09:15,772 --> 01:09:20,294
I don't know, I've never worked
on a pregnant person before,

1495
01:09:20,397 --> 01:09:21,995
so I just don't want
to do something wrong.

1496
01:09:22,019 --> 01:09:24,988
I guess I have this fear
that I will tweak a nerve

1497
01:09:25,091 --> 01:09:28,716
of yours, and then the blood flow
gets cut off and the baby drops dead.

1498
01:09:28,819 --> 01:09:30,096
Jesus.

1499
01:09:30,407 --> 01:09:33,410
Very dark. Yeah, we
don't want to do that.

1500
01:09:33,514 --> 01:09:35,654
I don't want to waste
your money or your time.

1501
01:09:35,757 --> 01:09:38,450
So let me just think of something
else I could do for you, okay?

1502
01:09:40,831 --> 01:09:45,146
[Dawn moaning] Oh, yeah.

1503
01:09:45,250 --> 01:09:46,803
How about a nice foot massage?

1504
01:09:46,941 --> 01:09:48,643
I don't think I could kill
your baby through your feet.

1505
01:09:48,667 --> 01:09:49,978
You know what?

1506
01:09:50,531 --> 01:09:53,327
A foot massage sounds good,
but could we, pump the brakes

1507
01:09:53,430 --> 01:09:55,536
on the baby killing verbiage?

1508
01:09:55,639 --> 01:09:58,642
No more of that. Now, let's
get going on those feet, okay?

1509
01:09:59,643 --> 01:10:00,748
Okay.

1510
01:10:00,851 --> 01:10:01,887
<i>[whimsical music plays]</i>

1511
01:10:04,027 --> 01:10:05,511
[chuckles]

1512
01:10:06,926 --> 01:10:09,308
[Dawn] Oh, yeah.

1513
01:10:12,173 --> 01:10:13,347
<i>So good.</i>

1514
01:10:14,451 --> 01:10:16,108
Could you go a little firmer?

1515
01:10:16,246 --> 01:10:19,836
It feels like a bug is
crawling on my feet.

1516
01:10:19,939 --> 01:10:22,459
I just don't want to
press too hard because...

1517
01:10:22,563 --> 01:10:24,599
Well, you don't want me to say.

1518
01:10:24,703 --> 01:10:28,465
When you say you don't want me
to say, I know what you mean.

1519
01:10:28,569 --> 01:10:31,434
So it still kills the vibe.

1520
01:10:31,606 --> 01:10:34,816
Could you give me
any pressure, please?

1521
01:10:34,954 --> 01:10:35,954
Okay.

1522
01:10:41,892 --> 01:10:45,517
<i>[Dawn moaning]
Oh, it's so good.</i>

1523
01:10:46,242 --> 01:10:48,830
<i>Oh, your hands are magic.</i>

1524
01:10:52,144 --> 01:10:53,801
<i>[crickets chirping]</i>

1525
01:10:54,077 --> 01:10:55,354
<i>[music fades]</i>

1526
01:10:55,458 --> 01:10:56,666
<i>[silverware clinks]</i>

1527
01:10:56,769 --> 01:11:01,015
Ooh, sorry it took
so long, honey.

1528
01:11:01,153 --> 01:11:04,501
I washed my hands, like, 50
times. The soap is so good.

1529
01:11:04,605 --> 01:11:07,297
Smell. It's a jelly.

1530
01:11:08,540 --> 01:11:10,818
Okay? I can't eat
anything right now.

1531
01:11:10,921 --> 01:11:12,060
I would eat those hands.

1532
01:11:12,233 --> 01:11:14,408
So good. I took
some to take home.

1533
01:11:14,511 --> 01:11:17,480
I was just gonna ask you how
the house is feeling now.

1534
01:11:17,583 --> 01:11:19,136
A little while in.

1535
01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:21,114
Are you guys still thinking of
making the basement an Airbnb?

1536
01:11:21,138 --> 01:11:22,806
Ugh, the quote from the
contractor was crazy,

1537
01:11:22,830 --> 01:11:24,556
so we don't even know
if it's worth it.

1538
01:11:25,971 --> 01:11:27,869
Okay, so I... I had an idea.

1539
01:11:27,973 --> 01:11:30,562
<i>[waitress] Wine plate for you.</i>
- Thank you.

1540
01:11:30,907 --> 01:11:34,428
- Water for you, flower on the side.
- Thank you so much.

1541
01:11:35,325 --> 01:11:37,258
Mmm. You know what? Excuse me.

1542
01:11:37,396 --> 01:11:39,260
Can I get another flight?
<i>- Yes, ma'am.</i>

1543
01:11:39,364 --> 01:11:41,435
Thank you. Just making
a round trip. [laughs]

1544
01:11:41,918 --> 01:11:42,953
[groans]

1545
01:11:44,196 --> 01:11:45,301
Ooh. [slurps]

1546
01:11:46,094 --> 01:11:48,407
That is delicious. Ooh.

1547
01:11:49,650 --> 01:11:50,650
<i>[slurps]</i>

1548
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,687
Oh, it's a little buttery.

1549
01:11:53,999 --> 01:11:54,999
<i>[slurps]</i>

1550
01:11:55,587 --> 01:11:56,622
Ahh.

1551
01:11:56,933 --> 01:11:59,522
So, you said you had
an idea. What is it?

1552
01:12:02,663 --> 01:12:05,528
Maybe not while you're drunk.

1553
01:12:05,631 --> 01:12:09,186
It's a little more serious.
- [laughs] I'm not drunk.

1554
01:12:09,325 --> 01:12:10,843
I'm just relaxed,
I'm having fun.

1555
01:12:10,947 --> 01:12:12,086
I'm a little tipsy.

1556
01:12:12,189 --> 01:12:14,916
[sighs] Okay, okay.

1557
01:12:15,192 --> 01:12:20,128
Well, I was thinking, what
about instead of an Airbnb,

1558
01:12:20,991 --> 01:12:26,687
me and my baby moved in.

1559
01:12:29,586 --> 01:12:34,626
Are you serious?
- Yeah I am.

1560
01:12:38,250 --> 01:12:40,045
Can't you picture it?

1561
01:12:40,148 --> 01:12:44,394
You guys upstairs and me
and my baby downstairs.

1562
01:12:44,498 --> 01:12:46,707
Just around.

1563
01:12:46,879 --> 01:12:48,847
<i>You know, we just would
never have to say goodbye.</i>

1564
01:12:48,950 --> 01:12:53,196
We would have that casual
see you later vibes.

1565
01:12:53,783 --> 01:12:57,269
I... just going through this,
I would love that comfort.

1566
01:12:57,373 --> 01:13:01,100
And, come on, we always
dreamed of living like that.

1567
01:13:01,204 --> 01:13:03,275
Girl, we dreamed about
that shit when we were 11.

1568
01:13:03,413 --> 01:13:04,656
We were children.

1569
01:13:04,759 --> 01:13:06,243
We're grown ups now, adults.

1570
01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:07,969
<i>That's not realistic. Okay?</i>

1571
01:13:08,073 --> 01:13:09,385
Okay.

1572
01:13:09,730 --> 01:13:11,628
But we never dreamed at any age

1573
01:13:11,732 --> 01:13:14,528
of taking four
trains for two hours

1574
01:13:14,631 --> 01:13:19,981
to hang out for 45 minutes where you're
pretty bitchy and not fun the whole time.

1575
01:13:22,467 --> 01:13:23,468
Can I be honest with you?

1576
01:13:28,196 --> 01:13:30,682
I am exhausted.

1577
01:13:31,165 --> 01:13:33,236
<i>Exhausted actually
doesn't even cover it.</i>

1578
01:13:33,339 --> 01:13:35,583
I... I did this to myself.

1579
01:13:35,721 --> 01:13:37,343
I'm mind fucked myself.

1580
01:13:37,516 --> 01:13:39,396
Because when your first
kid gets a little older,

1581
01:13:39,449 --> 01:13:41,358
you think, "Wow, this isn't so
bad. I could do this again."

1582
01:13:41,382 --> 01:13:44,592
And like a fucking lunatic,
you have a second child

1583
01:13:44,696 --> 01:13:46,256
thinking that shit's
going to be easier.

1584
01:13:46,283 --> 01:13:48,147
And it's not.

1585
01:13:48,320 --> 01:13:53,014
The first year with your second
child is a special kind of hell.

1586
01:13:53,152 --> 01:13:55,534
<i>It is vicious, relentless.</i>

1587
01:13:55,707 --> 01:13:58,848
An endless loop of
other people's needs.

1588
01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:02,990
Which is why me and the
basement would be chill.

1589
01:14:03,093 --> 01:14:04,785
Chill?

1590
01:14:05,510 --> 01:14:11,377
You think this would be chill? In my
already suffocating, storm of shit fire.

1591
01:14:11,481 --> 01:14:15,381
You decided to have a baby
with a random fucking stranger.

1592
01:14:15,485 --> 01:14:18,419
Whoa. Hurtful dude.

1593
01:14:18,523 --> 01:14:21,491
Claude really meant
something to me.

1594
01:14:21,733 --> 01:14:24,494
And I know all
this may be weird,

1595
01:14:24,598 --> 01:14:27,324
and do I wish I was normal?

1596
01:14:27,428 --> 01:14:31,328
Do I wish I could live in
boring, predictable bliss?

1597
01:14:31,432 --> 01:14:34,539
Of course I do, but I'm not.

1598
01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:38,577
I had something special
with this one person.

1599
01:14:38,681 --> 01:14:40,199
So here we are.

1600
01:14:40,303 --> 01:14:43,720
And sure, I'm scared
of the decision I made.

1601
01:14:43,824 --> 01:14:47,897
I feel, like, a lion
is chasing me scared.

1602
01:14:48,138 --> 01:14:52,591
<i>But I know that we can
handle anything together,</i>

1603
01:14:52,695 --> 01:14:55,145
and we wouldn't even have to
be having this conversation

1604
01:14:55,249 --> 01:14:59,805
if you didn't just up and move to the
Upper West Side without even consulting me.

1605
01:14:59,909 --> 01:15:03,084
Oh my God, I do not
have to consult you.

1606
01:15:03,222 --> 01:15:06,605
Adults don't plan their lives
around their best friends.

1607
01:15:06,778 --> 01:15:11,714
Jesus Christ Eden, with the 11 year
old dreams and the birth prom plan.

1608
01:15:11,817 --> 01:15:13,612
<i>You live like a child.</i>

1609
01:15:13,785 --> 01:15:16,512
Have you even started to prep
baby stuff in your house?

1610
01:15:16,615 --> 01:15:18,479
Or are you just waiting
for me to do it?

1611
01:15:18,652 --> 01:15:20,274
No, you know what
you're waiting for?

1612
01:15:20,377 --> 01:15:23,242
You want to move into my house
and mooch off of my family?

1613
01:15:23,346 --> 01:15:24,589
Fuck you.

1614
01:15:24,968 --> 01:15:27,626
Best friends are so
fucked over in adulthood.

1615
01:15:27,730 --> 01:15:30,733
If we don't couple ourselves
off, we are fucked.

1616
01:15:30,871 --> 01:15:32,907
Not everybody's
made up like that.

1617
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:35,013
I've known you twice
as long as Marty.

1618
01:15:35,116 --> 01:15:38,913
And a lifetime longer than Tommy
and Melanie's brand new ass.

1619
01:15:39,017 --> 01:15:41,606
What? Just because we're not
blood related, we're not family?

1620
01:15:41,778 --> 01:15:45,886
That's bullshit. You
and me, we're family.

1621
01:15:48,302 --> 01:15:49,648
<i>[crickets chirping]</i>

1622
01:15:52,271 --> 01:15:53,618
We're family.

1623
01:15:55,999 --> 01:15:57,311
I have a family.

1624
01:16:00,486 --> 01:16:01,971
<i>[somber music plays]</i>

1625
01:16:02,074 --> 01:16:04,974
<i>Listen. And I say this
for your own good.</i>

1626
01:16:05,181 --> 01:16:11,181
Rather than living together and
becoming too reliant on each other,

1627
01:16:11,739 --> 01:16:15,294
I think it's good for us to take
some space, gain our independence.

1628
01:16:15,398 --> 01:16:19,505
We can just focus
on our families.

1629
01:16:19,609 --> 01:16:22,267
I can focus on mine,
you can focus on yours.

1630
01:16:26,651 --> 01:16:29,101
I really do think this
will be for the best.

1631
01:16:30,965 --> 01:16:33,174
Yeah, I think it will
be fucking great.

1632
01:16:38,214 --> 01:16:39,387
<i>[music fades]</i>

1633
01:16:40,078 --> 01:16:41,113
[car hums]

1634
01:16:53,954 --> 01:16:54,954
[exhales]

1635
01:16:55,783 --> 01:16:57,405
<i>[machine whirring]</i>

1636
01:16:58,821 --> 01:17:00,167
<i>[mellow music plays]</i>

1637
01:17:02,134 --> 01:17:03,377
Marty?

1638
01:17:04,861 --> 01:17:06,345
Marty? [coughs]

1639
01:17:07,553 --> 01:17:08,762
<i>[Marty] We're in the kitchen.</i>

1640
01:17:13,421 --> 01:17:14,422
[coughs]

1641
01:17:16,252 --> 01:17:17,425
What was that?

1642
01:17:17,598 --> 01:17:19,013
What is going on?

1643
01:17:19,704 --> 01:17:21,464
What is that smell?

1644
01:17:21,809 --> 01:17:24,398
<i>I tried to get Tommy
on the potty again.</i>

1645
01:17:24,501 --> 01:17:28,851
We flushed, and then the pipes
backed up and everything exploded.

1646
01:17:29,506 --> 01:17:30,715
<i>[music fades]</i>

1647
01:17:30,922 --> 01:17:32,855
Tommy's never getting
back on the potty.

1648
01:17:34,201 --> 01:17:35,305
Neither will I.

1649
01:17:35,409 --> 01:17:36,686
[plastic rustles]

1650
01:17:37,722 --> 01:17:39,931
So, I figured out what happened.

1651
01:17:40,345 --> 01:17:42,416
There was a clog in
an old original pipe.

1652
01:17:42,519 --> 01:17:45,384
<i>I'm talking about a
200 year old clog here.</i>

1653
01:17:45,488 --> 01:17:50,148
Centuries of new shit just piling up
on old shit and just pushing that shit.

1654
01:17:50,251 --> 01:17:52,737
<i>Almost like new shit was
shitting out the old shit.</i>

1655
01:17:52,840 --> 01:17:55,705
And I mean, like,
Revolutionary War dook, man.

1656
01:17:55,809 --> 01:17:58,052
<i>It's like New
Amsterdam, Arakaka.</i>

1657
01:17:58,190 --> 01:17:59,847
And suddenly it all went pop!

1658
01:18:00,365 --> 01:18:01,918
[gags]

1659
01:18:02,643 --> 01:18:04,552
<i>That's the nightmare we're all
smelling up our noses right now.</i>

1660
01:18:04,576 --> 01:18:05,681
We see it all the time.

1661
01:18:05,784 --> 01:18:07,096
You see this all the time?

1662
01:18:07,199 --> 01:18:10,755
Our home is a functional sewer.

1663
01:18:10,858 --> 01:18:12,584
<i>In New York, constantly.</i>

1664
01:18:12,929 --> 01:18:14,724
There's a brownstone
joke there to make.

1665
01:18:14,931 --> 01:18:16,864
<i>Some plumbers do, but I don't.</i>

1666
01:18:17,037 --> 01:18:20,903
I've given my whole fucking
life to fighting stench.

1667
01:18:21,006 --> 01:18:23,526
Okay. Thank you
for your service.

1668
01:18:23,802 --> 01:18:25,602
Can you please not touch that?
- Nice counter.

1669
01:18:25,701 --> 01:18:26,978
<i>[pipes glug]</i>

1670
01:18:30,982 --> 01:18:32,466
[muffled] Oh my God.

1671
01:18:33,674 --> 01:18:34,848
[coughs]

1672
01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:40,060
Oh, my... [retches]

1673
01:18:42,648 --> 01:18:45,203
<i>[Marty] Okay. I'll be
right there. Thank you.</i>

1674
01:18:45,306 --> 01:18:46,514
<i>[stairs creak]</i>

1675
01:18:48,516 --> 01:18:51,002
Whoa! You okay?

1676
01:18:52,210 --> 01:18:54,419
Okay, am I okay?

1677
01:18:54,522 --> 01:18:57,733
Our house oozes of
civil war, racist dumps.

1678
01:18:57,836 --> 01:19:00,114
It smells like Thomas
Jefferson's colon,

1679
01:19:00,218 --> 01:19:02,530
A... and you want
to know if I'm okay?

1680
01:19:02,634 --> 01:19:04,118
<i>No, I'm not okay. All right?</i>

1681
01:19:04,222 --> 01:19:06,258
<i>I just can't take it anymore.</i>

1682
01:19:06,534 --> 01:19:08,157
What can't you take?
- It!

1683
01:19:09,330 --> 01:19:10,642
What is it?

1684
01:19:10,780 --> 01:19:12,851
I don't know what it is.

1685
01:19:12,955 --> 01:19:16,924
And that's part of the problem
too. I can't pinpoint what it is.

1686
01:19:17,028 --> 01:19:20,134
I just know that
I can't take it.

1687
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:26,583
I just feel like I have it
all and nothing at once.

1688
01:19:27,003 --> 01:19:29,557
<i>I couldn't wait to
get back to work,</i>

1689
01:19:29,661 --> 01:19:31,145
but then at work,
I missed the kids

1690
01:19:31,456 --> 01:19:33,330
and I feel like a bad parent
because I'm not with them.

1691
01:19:33,354 --> 01:19:35,322
And when I'm home, I don't
want to fucking be here.

1692
01:19:35,425 --> 01:19:37,807
I want to be
motherfucking free and...

1693
01:19:39,913 --> 01:19:42,881
And I'm... I'm sorry.

1694
01:19:43,330 --> 01:19:46,091
I'm sorry for being in such
a bad mood all the time.

1695
01:19:47,955 --> 01:19:49,646
You're doing so good.

1696
01:19:49,750 --> 01:19:52,926
Just trying to hold
it together for me

1697
01:19:53,029 --> 01:19:55,998
and the kids, and
always in a good mood,

1698
01:19:56,101 --> 01:20:00,899
and always cleaning and never
complaining about all the shitty diapers.

1699
01:20:01,003 --> 01:20:04,420
So... I just want to
say thank you for that.

1700
01:20:04,523 --> 01:20:06,249
I'm sorry I'm such a bummer.

1701
01:20:07,388 --> 01:20:08,389
[sighs]

1702
01:20:08,838 --> 01:20:09,943
It's okay.

1703
01:20:11,841 --> 01:20:13,153
I understand.

1704
01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:15,811
You do?

1705
01:20:16,087 --> 01:20:18,123
You know sometimes
when I'm alone,

1706
01:20:19,228 --> 01:20:23,059
I'll just scream for
three or four seconds.

1707
01:20:23,577 --> 01:20:24,577
And it helps.

1708
01:20:26,200 --> 01:20:29,203
I don't know what it
helps, but it helps.

1709
01:20:29,997 --> 01:20:31,861
It's so weird because...

1710
01:20:33,656 --> 01:20:35,002
I hate work.

1711
01:20:36,210 --> 01:20:39,144
But I can't be home all
day. And then I feel guilty,

1712
01:20:39,248 --> 01:20:41,733
and I'm with the kids
and I love the kids,

1713
01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:43,562
but they're fucking exhausting.

1714
01:20:43,666 --> 01:20:47,083
And then I go back to work
and nobody gives a fuck.

1715
01:20:48,636 --> 01:20:52,640
Best case scenario, I
work my entire life.

1716
01:20:53,227 --> 01:20:57,335
And then I die while the
kids are healthy and happy.

1717
01:20:59,924 --> 01:21:01,132
That's the pinnacle.

1718
01:21:03,099 --> 01:21:07,172
Death followed by mild relief.

1719
01:21:09,865 --> 01:21:11,314
We are so fucked.

1720
01:21:16,319 --> 01:21:18,874
I am so glad to be so fucking
fucked with you though.

1721
01:21:19,805 --> 01:21:21,324
<i>[emotional music plays]</i>

1722
01:21:23,982 --> 01:21:25,294
[moaning]

1723
01:21:28,849 --> 01:21:30,230
[Marty] Come on.

1724
01:21:33,267 --> 01:21:34,337
<i>Wait.</i>

1725
01:21:34,544 --> 01:21:35,649
<i>Throw this on the floor.</i>

1726
01:21:35,994 --> 01:21:37,040
- Take this off.
<i>- Okay, let's do it.</i>

1727
01:21:37,064 --> 01:21:38,514
<i>Okay, I'm gonna take it off.</i>

1728
01:21:38,617 --> 01:21:39,653
<i>[door buzzes]</i>

1729
01:21:39,756 --> 01:21:41,517
[Eden singing]

1730
01:21:41,897 --> 01:21:44,934
Threw me for a
loop, my packages.

1731
01:21:45,072 --> 01:21:47,247
<i>[jolly music plays]</i>

1732
01:21:47,488 --> 01:21:48,488
[box cracks]

1733
01:21:49,249 --> 01:21:50,249
Okay.

1734
01:21:51,561 --> 01:21:54,116
This is what all that...

1735
01:21:54,461 --> 01:21:56,359
practice is for.
<i>- [phone vibrates]</i>

1736
01:21:57,395 --> 01:21:58,499
Okay, guys.

1737
01:22:01,330 --> 01:22:02,330
[sighs]

1738
01:22:03,401 --> 01:22:05,610
<i>Don't have to do
total no talking.</i>

1739
01:22:07,301 --> 01:22:10,580
Pretty normal, successful bitch.

1740
01:22:10,684 --> 01:22:11,685
I love her so much.

1741
01:22:12,410 --> 01:22:13,721
Okay, guys.

1742
01:22:13,859 --> 01:22:15,689
<i>I'm gonna have to
make some cuts.</i>

1743
01:22:15,792 --> 01:22:19,555
<i>Pineapple, milk, gherkins.
You guys are too heavy.</i>

1744
01:22:19,658 --> 01:22:21,315
Little prime, I'll be back.

1745
01:22:21,419 --> 01:22:23,593
Ooh-ee.

1746
01:22:24,284 --> 01:22:25,319
Okay.

1747
01:22:25,595 --> 01:22:29,668
No more. I can't be
pregnant anymore.

1748
01:22:29,772 --> 01:22:31,567
How do we finish this, please?

1749
01:22:31,670 --> 01:22:34,466
Well, technically, at 37
weeks, you are at full term.

1750
01:22:34,570 --> 01:22:38,884
But the due date is 40, and
New York State allows 42.

1751
01:22:38,988 --> 01:22:40,956
42 weeks?

1752
01:22:41,059 --> 01:22:44,407
That's almost a year.
That is bullshit.

1753
01:22:44,511 --> 01:22:46,409
Can we do anything
to speed this up?

1754
01:22:46,513 --> 01:22:50,241
C-section, induction and
also a membrane sweep.

1755
01:22:50,344 --> 01:22:52,208
<i>But that's not
medically sound for you.</i>

1756
01:22:52,312 --> 01:22:55,591
Can I eat more fiber?
- A baby is not a bowel movement,

1757
01:22:55,694 --> 01:23:00,113
so no. There are other things
that people say might help.

1758
01:23:00,216 --> 01:23:01,469
They may not be medically sound,

1759
01:23:01,493 --> 01:23:02,839
but if you're really desperate.

1760
01:23:02,943 --> 01:23:04,703
Yeah, I'm... I'm desperate.

1761
01:23:05,083 --> 01:23:08,673
Stimulating the nipples, that releases
oxytocin, contracts the uterus.

1762
01:23:08,811 --> 01:23:11,296
So is it me? Does it
have to be somebody else?

1763
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:15,266
Well, you can always ask someone
to do it. Sex, they say, helps.

1764
01:23:15,369 --> 01:23:18,510
I don't know, maybe it's the
gyration, possibly the orgasms.

1765
01:23:18,614 --> 01:23:21,513
Great. Know anybody who likes
somebody almost about to give birth?

1766
01:23:21,617 --> 01:23:24,758
Castor oil, they say might help,
one or two tablespoons daily.

1767
01:23:24,861 --> 01:23:27,726
In my pussy?
- No, no, you drink it.

1768
01:23:27,899 --> 01:23:29,211
Oh, got you.

1769
01:23:29,521 --> 01:23:33,215
Uh, dates, pineapple,
red raspberry leaf tea.

1770
01:23:33,318 --> 01:23:36,666
Also oral, or is that..?
<i>- All of it is oral.</i>

1771
01:23:36,770 --> 01:23:39,152
<i>I just want to do whatever
is going to get the baby out.</i>

1772
01:23:39,255 --> 01:23:42,638
Well, a red raspberry tea
douche will not do it.

1773
01:23:42,810 --> 01:23:48,264
Gotcha. All oral, lest
we forget. [chuckles]

1774
01:23:49,783 --> 01:23:52,475
Hi, honey. I got great news.

1775
01:23:52,579 --> 01:23:55,064
<i>The other good looking
dentist they got for the gig.</i>

1776
01:23:55,168 --> 01:23:57,411
He's indeed a serial killer.

1777
01:23:57,515 --> 01:24:00,311
- Oh.
- But this is good news for you. They called.

1778
01:24:00,414 --> 01:24:03,762
They want you.
- Oh, my God, they want me.

1779
01:24:03,866 --> 01:24:05,868
<i>But you're going to
have to fly out tomorrow</i>

1780
01:24:05,971 --> 01:24:08,008
to San Francisco
to do the filming.

1781
01:24:08,181 --> 01:24:09,423
<i>[machine whirring]</i>

1782
01:24:10,528 --> 01:24:11,391
[water splashes]

1783
01:24:11,494 --> 01:24:12,494
Ahh.

1784
01:24:13,910 --> 01:24:15,326
<i>[cat meows]</i>

1785
01:24:15,429 --> 01:24:16,465
[laughs]

1786
01:24:19,985 --> 01:24:21,677
[duck ringtone plays]

1787
01:24:29,029 --> 01:24:30,272
<i>[phone chimes]</i>

1788
01:24:30,513 --> 01:24:33,723
Oh, hey.
- Hi. You picked up.

1789
01:24:33,827 --> 01:24:35,173
Yeah. Sorry.

1790
01:24:35,277 --> 01:24:38,038
I've been, pretty busy.

1791
01:24:38,142 --> 01:24:40,075
Okay. Sure. Yeah, I get it.

1792
01:24:40,178 --> 01:24:44,665
Are you on an airplane?
- I am, I got the Invisalign campaign.

1793
01:24:44,769 --> 01:24:46,129
<i>They're sending me
out to shoot it.</i>

1794
01:24:46,184 --> 01:24:49,946
Oh my God, yes. That's great.

1795
01:24:50,119 --> 01:24:54,503
Does that help for the money with
the uh... with the shit pipe repairs?

1796
01:24:54,606 --> 01:24:56,056
<i>I wish.</i>

1797
01:24:56,160 --> 01:24:58,507
Our place is damn
near condemnable.

1798
01:24:58,610 --> 01:25:01,958
We're basically holding back our
next flood with a piece of duct tape.

1799
01:25:02,062 --> 01:25:04,133
We're just gonna have to
move all together, you know?

1800
01:25:04,237 --> 01:25:06,273
We're looking for a place,
maybe in the suburbs.

1801
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:09,794
That's amazing.

1802
01:25:10,243 --> 01:25:15,075
Okay, you can't even not
wince at me just saying,

1803
01:25:15,179 --> 01:25:17,008
"Looking at a place
in the suburbs."

1804
01:25:17,491 --> 01:25:22,876
It's partly that, but also, my stomach's
been cramping like crazy for hours.

1805
01:25:22,979 --> 01:25:25,672
Are you having contractions?
- I don't think so.

1806
01:25:25,775 --> 01:25:28,882
I called Doctor Morris a couple
times yesterday, and they weren't.

1807
01:25:28,985 --> 01:25:34,059
And these are weaker than
yesterday, so we'll see. I'm ready.

1808
01:25:34,163 --> 01:25:36,786
Mh-hm. I totally get it.
With Tommy, I just drank

1809
01:25:36,890 --> 01:25:39,272
a bunch of castor oil
to, like, push it along.

1810
01:25:39,444 --> 01:25:41,515
Dude, I chugged it.

1811
01:25:41,619 --> 01:25:44,104
But I think I want some
chocolate almond milk right now.

1812
01:25:44,208 --> 01:25:45,485
I'll BRB.

1813
01:25:45,657 --> 01:25:47,349
Apologies, you
might get flashed.

1814
01:25:49,005 --> 01:25:50,697
Oh, okay.

1815
01:25:51,318 --> 01:25:52,630
Eden.
<i>- What?</i>

1816
01:25:52,733 --> 01:25:53,976
Bend over.

1817
01:25:54,114 --> 01:25:55,978
Perv.
- Just do it, bend over.

1818
01:25:56,081 --> 01:26:01,156
Yo, your pussy is very fucking
open. How long you been hurting?

1819
01:26:01,259 --> 01:26:04,020
Hours, but I'm
really feeling it now

1820
01:26:04,124 --> 01:26:05,988
that I'm letting myself feel it.

1821
01:26:06,161 --> 01:26:08,542
You need to go now.
Call the hospital.

1822
01:26:08,646 --> 01:26:10,234
Oh my God. What?

1823
01:26:10,786 --> 01:26:12,626
<i>[flight attendant] Phones
off. The cabin is closed.</i>

1824
01:26:12,650 --> 01:26:14,859
<i>Ma'am, I'm going to need
you to turn your phone off.</i>

1825
01:26:14,962 --> 01:26:16,585
<i>Ma'am.</i>
- I'm so sorry, okay?

1826
01:26:16,757 --> 01:26:19,277
This is so rude, but I'm
literally. being yelled at.

1827
01:26:19,381 --> 01:26:21,486
Go to the hospital now.
Goodbye, I love you.

1828
01:26:21,659 --> 01:26:22,867
[plane hums]

1829
01:26:23,039 --> 01:26:26,319
Oh, God. Dragana!

1830
01:26:29,114 --> 01:26:30,806
<i>[flight announcement]</i>

1831
01:26:33,395 --> 01:26:34,430
<i>['80s pop music plays]</i>

1832
01:26:34,603 --> 01:26:35,983
[exhales] Where's the Lyft?

1833
01:26:36,087 --> 01:26:38,262
Almost here. Was surge.

1834
01:26:38,365 --> 01:26:40,919
Why kept canceling.

1835
01:26:41,126 --> 01:26:43,232
If shit hits fan,
I have many times

1836
01:26:43,336 --> 01:26:45,993
to reach in and
pull out the baby.

1837
01:26:46,442 --> 01:26:48,375
Let's hope it
doesn't come to that.

1838
01:26:48,720 --> 01:26:51,620
I don't enjoy it, but I do it.

1839
01:26:52,414 --> 01:26:53,932
<i>[emotional music plays]</i>

1840
01:26:54,692 --> 01:26:55,831
<i>[cars honking]</i>

1841
01:26:55,934 --> 01:26:57,281
You go ahead.

1842
01:27:00,387 --> 01:27:01,664
[car honking]

1843
01:27:06,048 --> 01:27:08,223
Let's go my little MILF to be.

1844
01:27:09,120 --> 01:27:10,363
[laughs]

1845
01:27:18,888 --> 01:27:23,790
No, wait, actually, I... I forgot
you suck. I'm taking a Lyft.

1846
01:27:24,169 --> 01:27:26,379
Come on, Eden, I'm
not missing this.

1847
01:27:29,347 --> 01:27:31,349
Admit you were a legit asshole

1848
01:27:31,453 --> 01:27:33,109
about me and
Claude's connection.

1849
01:27:33,248 --> 01:27:36,872
I was a legit asshole about
you and Claude's connection.

1850
01:27:38,322 --> 01:27:39,357
[sighs]

1851
01:27:39,495 --> 01:27:41,635
Admit you and me are family.

1852
01:27:44,983 --> 01:27:45,983
We're family.

1853
01:27:49,367 --> 01:27:50,368
[sighs]

1854
01:27:51,438 --> 01:27:53,578
I am so sorry.

1855
01:27:54,269 --> 01:27:55,304
[sighs]

1856
01:27:56,995 --> 01:27:57,995
Okay.

1857
01:27:59,446 --> 01:28:00,827
I'm sorry too.

1858
01:28:02,656 --> 01:28:08,421
I took advantage of how much
you can hold, and I piled it on.

1859
01:28:10,319 --> 01:28:11,769
I know I'm a lot.

1860
01:28:13,943 --> 01:28:15,393
<i>[music continues]</i>

1861
01:28:27,543 --> 01:28:29,442
<i>[music swells]</i>

1862
01:28:41,730 --> 01:28:44,008
Dragana, we're riding
with this bitch.

1863
01:28:44,111 --> 01:28:45,768
<i>[uplifting music plays]</i>

1864
01:28:47,770 --> 01:28:50,601
<i>[Dawn] Just keep
breathing. Keep breathing.</i>

1865
01:28:51,878 --> 01:28:53,431
[traffic hums]

1866
01:28:56,054 --> 01:28:57,090
[grunts]

1867
01:29:02,129 --> 01:29:03,476
[brakes squeak]

1868
01:29:04,684 --> 01:29:06,099
<i>[Dawn] Here we go.</i>

1869
01:29:06,202 --> 01:29:07,514
Here we go!

1870
01:29:12,450 --> 01:29:13,762
<i>[Eden] Yep, yep.</i>

1871
01:29:17,352 --> 01:29:19,457
[pants]

1872
01:29:22,391 --> 01:29:23,461
My streamers.

1873
01:29:23,910 --> 01:29:24,910
[groans]

1874
01:29:26,982 --> 01:29:29,467
Oh, sorry. Forgot
you, baby girl.

1875
01:29:29,881 --> 01:29:32,021
Let's go have a
baby. [laughing]

1876
01:29:32,677 --> 01:29:34,541
[inhales] Breathe.

1877
01:29:34,748 --> 01:29:37,889
<i>[music fades]</i>
- Five, four, three, two, one!

1878
01:29:37,993 --> 01:29:39,270
[yells]

1879
01:29:39,684 --> 01:29:41,559
This position isn't helping.
Let's turn her over.

1880
01:29:41,583 --> 01:29:42,823
Hands and feet, hands and feet.

1881
01:29:43,032 --> 01:29:44,586
<i>[Eden] Okay, what's happening?</i>

1882
01:29:45,276 --> 01:29:47,150
Why am I in doggy style? I don't
wanna doggy style with my baby.

1883
01:29:47,174 --> 01:29:50,143
This is a common birth
position. Can you move down?

1884
01:29:50,246 --> 01:29:51,903
No, I'm up here!

1885
01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:55,079
Okay, I'll come to you.
<i>- Okay.</i>

1886
01:29:55,182 --> 01:29:57,219
We'll do it right here.
Here comes another one.

1887
01:29:57,564 --> 01:30:00,429
Here comes another one. Good,
good, good, good, good, good, good.

1888
01:30:00,533 --> 01:30:02,638
Push, push, push,
push. Push, push, push!

1889
01:30:02,742 --> 01:30:04,985
I'm doggy style with my
baby, I feel weird about it.

1890
01:30:05,089 --> 01:30:06,608
<i>Push this last one. Push.</i>

1891
01:30:06,711 --> 01:30:07,954
I see the head, push!

1892
01:30:08,057 --> 01:30:10,301
[Eden] Okay, I think.
I have to shit.

1893
01:30:10,405 --> 01:30:11,899
I don't want to shit
on my baby like Dawn.

1894
01:30:11,923 --> 01:30:14,512
Dude it was disgusting what you did.
- Okay.

1895
01:30:14,685 --> 01:30:16,245
Keep pushing. <i>[Doctor
Morris] Last push.</i>

1896
01:30:16,307 --> 01:30:18,102
Good, good, good.

1897
01:30:18,274 --> 01:30:20,207
<i>There we are, there
we are, there we are!</i>

1898
01:30:20,311 --> 01:30:21,450
[yells]

1899
01:30:22,693 --> 01:30:24,867
<i>- [baby crying]</i>
- Perfect, perfect.

1900
01:30:25,074 --> 01:30:27,387
[gasping]
- You did it!

1901
01:30:27,491 --> 01:30:29,078
- [laughs]
- You did it.

1902
01:30:29,769 --> 01:30:30,769
I did it.

1903
01:30:31,046 --> 01:30:32,668
Okay, we're gonna
cut the cord now.

1904
01:30:32,772 --> 01:30:34,843
No, no, no, I want
Dawn to cut the cord.

1905
01:30:35,153 --> 01:30:38,467
<i>- Okay.</i>
- I would be... I would be honored.

1906
01:30:38,571 --> 01:30:39,606
Obviously.

1907
01:30:41,677 --> 01:30:43,955
There you are. Right
there. <i>[baby crying]</i>

1908
01:30:44,508 --> 01:30:45,957
[sobs]

1909
01:30:46,061 --> 01:30:47,511
[laughing]

1910
01:30:48,373 --> 01:30:49,513
Okay.

1911
01:30:52,930 --> 01:30:54,587
Oh my God.

1912
01:30:54,863 --> 01:30:58,418
Oh my God. My baby had a baby.
- [laughs]

1913
01:30:58,522 --> 01:31:01,076
- I love you so much.
- I love you too.

1914
01:31:01,352 --> 01:31:03,043
<i>[baby crying continues]</i>

1915
01:31:03,354 --> 01:31:08,359
Thank you for being here.
- Where the fuck else would I be?

1916
01:31:08,704 --> 01:31:11,017
<i>[nurse] Okay, just
a few more pushes.</i>

1917
01:31:11,293 --> 01:31:12,846
Is there another one in there?

1918
01:31:13,019 --> 01:31:14,123
It's the placenta.

1919
01:31:15,470 --> 01:31:16,885
They don't tell you
about this part.

1920
01:31:16,988 --> 01:31:18,542
<i>[Dragana] I'll take placenta.</i>

1921
01:31:19,197 --> 01:31:20,578
It makes smoothies.

1922
01:31:20,682 --> 01:31:23,374
Okay. That's a
choice. Here we go.

1923
01:31:23,650 --> 01:31:25,687
This is just ridiculous.

1924
01:31:27,482 --> 01:31:28,690
[exhales]
- [nurse] Great.

1925
01:31:29,484 --> 01:31:31,140
Oh, God. That's wild.

1926
01:31:31,244 --> 01:31:33,798
Smells good, doesn't it?
- Oh, God. [laughs]

1927
01:31:34,730 --> 01:31:36,594
Shut up! [laughs]

1928
01:31:37,388 --> 01:31:38,838
Okay.

1929
01:31:38,941 --> 01:31:39,941
[baby crying]

1930
01:31:40,771 --> 01:31:42,600
Yeah, man. Give me my boy.

1931
01:31:42,773 --> 01:31:45,914
I didn't want to rain on
your maternal instincts.

1932
01:31:46,017 --> 01:31:49,952
But, it's a girl. It's
always been a girl.

1933
01:31:50,056 --> 01:31:51,585
<i>[John Lennon, Yoko Ono
- Remember Love plays]</i>

1934
01:31:51,609 --> 01:31:53,956
I had two pussies?
<i>- Mh-hm.</i>

1935
01:31:54,578 --> 01:31:55,648
[laughs]

1936
01:31:57,926 --> 01:31:58,961
Holy shit.

1937
01:31:59,065 --> 01:32:02,724
This is crazy. This
is fucking crazy.

1938
01:32:03,241 --> 01:32:04,484
[sniffles]

1939
01:32:04,864 --> 01:32:07,245
How are we not talking
about this all the time?

1940
01:32:07,349 --> 01:32:12,250
We grow bodies inside of
our bodies. What the fuck?

1941
01:32:12,665 --> 01:32:16,392
This person just came out
of my vagina. [laughs]

1942
01:32:16,669 --> 01:32:18,602
[sniffles] This is
all the hot news

1943
01:32:18,705 --> 01:32:21,121
anchors should be covering
twenty-four seven.

1944
01:32:21,294 --> 01:32:23,710
People coming out of pussies.

1945
01:32:23,848 --> 01:32:27,990
Every day for thousands
and thousands of years.

1946
01:32:28,577 --> 01:32:30,268
What the fuck?

1947
01:32:32,443 --> 01:32:33,720
[laughs]

1948
01:32:33,824 --> 01:32:35,377
You're so beautiful.

1949
01:32:35,550 --> 01:32:37,310
You're so beautiful.

1950
01:32:37,586 --> 01:32:40,244
What? What? [laughs]

1951
01:32:40,416 --> 01:32:42,280
<i>[music covers talking]</i>

1952
01:33:03,163 --> 01:33:04,889
<i>[music fades]</i>

1953
01:33:05,131 --> 01:33:08,513
- [baby crying] - [midwife]
Congrats! Congrats!

1954
01:33:08,617 --> 01:33:09,860
You're ready to go home.

1955
01:33:09,963 --> 01:33:11,896
No, no, I'm not ready.
<i>- Yes, you are.</i>

1956
01:33:12,000 --> 01:33:14,105
You can do it. And
we need the bed.

1957
01:33:14,209 --> 01:33:16,245
<i>But before you go,
a few parting gifts,</i>

1958
01:33:16,349 --> 01:33:19,214
some extra diapers for
her and some for you.

1959
01:33:19,317 --> 01:33:22,182
Oh, good. I dropped a deuce a
little while ago, so thank you.

1960
01:33:22,355 --> 01:33:24,460
You're not supposed to
poop in your diaper.

1961
01:33:24,564 --> 01:33:26,221
It's for blood. Get that off.

1962
01:33:26,324 --> 01:33:29,396
See? I'm not ready. I'm
shitting myself wrongly.

1963
01:33:29,500 --> 01:33:31,226
Shh.
- [baby crying]

1964
01:33:31,502 --> 01:33:33,366
Okay, okay, okay, okay.

1965
01:33:35,851 --> 01:33:37,991
[softly] Thank you guys so much.

1966
01:33:38,095 --> 01:33:39,579
Really, really...

1967
01:33:39,683 --> 01:33:41,236
<i>[traffic hums]</i>

1968
01:33:45,516 --> 01:33:47,380
Mm-mm-mm.

1969
01:33:47,552 --> 01:33:48,968
<i>[sirens wail]</i>

1970
01:33:52,005 --> 01:33:53,179
[grunts]

1971
01:33:54,214 --> 01:33:55,526
Hey.

1972
01:33:55,837 --> 01:33:58,425
Yes. Please yes. Please
yes. Please. Yes.

1973
01:33:58,529 --> 01:34:00,876
Oh, yes. Thank you so much.

1974
01:34:01,049 --> 01:34:04,569
Thank you so much.
[exhales] Okay. Okay.

1975
01:34:04,673 --> 01:34:05,501
<i>[gentle music plays]</i>

1976
01:34:05,605 --> 01:34:07,262
Thank you so much.

1977
01:34:10,127 --> 01:34:11,127
Okay.

1978
01:34:12,716 --> 01:34:14,372
[grunts] Oh, God.

1979
01:34:17,375 --> 01:34:18,375
<i>[seatbelt clicks]</i>

1980
01:34:26,695 --> 01:34:28,352
Okay, just one second.

1981
01:34:29,698 --> 01:34:30,975
Astoria, please.

1982
01:34:31,838 --> 01:34:33,357
[tires squeal]

1983
01:34:33,460 --> 01:34:34,530
[horns blare] [music stops]

1984
01:34:34,669 --> 01:34:35,808
[baby crying]

1985
01:34:36,187 --> 01:34:37,406
I'll fucking kill you!
- I'll fucking kill you!

1986
01:34:37,430 --> 01:34:38,949
I'll fucking kill you both!

1987
01:34:40,847 --> 01:34:44,437
Okay. It's okay. Oh, fuck.

1988
01:34:45,369 --> 01:34:46,819
<i>[music resumes]</i>

1989
01:34:47,716 --> 01:34:49,753
Welcome home, Claudette.

1990
01:34:53,411 --> 01:34:54,758
All right.

1991
01:34:54,861 --> 01:34:58,209
Welcome home, Claudette.

1992
01:34:59,728 --> 01:35:01,903
Okay. Wow.

1993
01:35:02,869 --> 01:35:04,975
This is where we live.

1994
01:35:07,460 --> 01:35:11,671
You're gonna have sleep overs in here.
Because we're gonna share the bedroom.

1995
01:35:11,947 --> 01:35:13,949
This is where
you're gonna sleep.

1996
01:35:14,053 --> 01:35:17,781
All right, we got this. We
got this, baby. We got this.

1997
01:35:19,472 --> 01:35:21,129
Oh, yeah.

1998
01:35:21,405 --> 01:35:23,510
<i>[Dad on phone] I
love you, Claudette.</i>

1999
01:35:23,821 --> 01:35:24,960
[blows kiss]

2000
01:35:29,068 --> 01:35:32,657
<i>[Marty] Ready buddy? [Eden]
Hey Little sleepy girl.</i>

2001
01:35:32,761 --> 01:35:34,073
It's gonna be great.

2002
01:35:34,211 --> 01:35:35,730
<i>[subway rattles]</i>

2003
01:35:36,109 --> 01:35:37,455
[Eden] Hi! [laughs]
[Marty] Hey.

2004
01:35:37,559 --> 01:35:38,974
Oh my God.

2005
01:35:39,078 --> 01:35:41,149
Thank you guys for coming to us.

2006
01:35:41,321 --> 01:35:43,876
Of course, whoever has the
youngest we do the commuting for,

2007
01:35:43,979 --> 01:35:45,774
it's only fair.
- Oh, I love that rule.

2008
01:35:45,912 --> 01:35:48,018
Well, that's why I got
the tickets, so. Let's go.

2009
01:35:48,121 --> 01:35:49,364
Oh, nice. [Marty]
Let's do this.

2010
01:35:49,674 --> 01:35:50,874
Yeah, I can't
wait. You got it?

2011
01:35:50,952 --> 01:35:52,505
Yep, I got you.
[Marty] You ready?

2012
01:35:52,677 --> 01:35:53,955
<i>[Tommy] Yeah.
- All right.</i>

2013
01:35:55,301 --> 01:35:57,648
<i>[yells in film]
[gunshot in film]</i>

2014
01:35:57,752 --> 01:35:59,236
<i>[male in film] Fuck
you, motherfucker</i>

2015
01:35:59,443 --> 01:36:01,007
<i>[male 2 in film] Eat shit
and die, motherfucker!</i>

2016
01:36:01,031 --> 01:36:02,077
<i>[gunshot in film]
[screams in film]</i>

2017
01:36:02,101 --> 01:36:02,998
<i>[accordion music plays]</i>

2018
01:36:03,102 --> 01:36:04,724
You see any of that shit?

2019
01:36:04,931 --> 01:36:06,933
- No.
- So you're not going to fucking talk?

2020
01:36:07,037 --> 01:36:08,038
No.

2021
01:36:08,693 --> 01:36:11,386
<i>Fuckin' cater waiter.</i>

2022
01:36:11,489 --> 01:36:16,529
<i>Jesus Christ! Just get in
the fucking car! Jesus.</i>

2023
01:36:16,874 --> 01:36:18,531
Claudette, that's your daddy.

2024
01:36:18,669 --> 01:36:20,844
<i>[sirens, yelling in film]</i>

2025
01:36:21,154 --> 01:36:23,605
There he is, that's your daddy.

2026
01:36:23,743 --> 01:36:25,103
<i>[male in film] Eat
led, cocksucker!</i>

2027
01:36:25,158 --> 01:36:26,850
<i>[gunshots, tires
squealing in film]</i>

2028
01:36:27,264 --> 01:36:31,233
Sorry, that movie was completely
inappropriate for children.

2029
01:36:31,337 --> 01:36:33,580
- I just... I just wanted to see him.
- It's fine.

2030
01:36:33,684 --> 01:36:34,996
It was fun. It was good.

2031
01:36:35,168 --> 01:36:36,514
[laughs]
<i>- [gentle music plays]</i>

2032
01:36:37,446 --> 01:36:41,243
<i>[Tommy] Can we still see movies
with Eden at the new house?</i>

2033
01:36:41,347 --> 01:36:43,211
<i>[Dawn] Yeah, of
course you can, Tommy.</i>

2034
01:36:44,005 --> 01:36:45,558
You guys found a house?

2035
01:36:45,834 --> 01:36:47,974
Yeah. I mean, it just
happened this morning.

2036
01:36:48,078 --> 01:36:51,495
Our offer was accepted, so
it's happening real fast.

2037
01:36:51,598 --> 01:36:53,738
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

2038
01:36:53,911 --> 01:36:58,122
So, which 'burb have
you dorks selected?

2039
01:37:01,125 --> 01:37:02,609
You didn't tell her?

2040
01:37:02,920 --> 01:37:06,890
No, I didn't tell
her. I've just...

2041
01:37:07,269 --> 01:37:10,859
Been busy. Like, I mean,
all the work it takes

2042
01:37:10,963 --> 01:37:13,103
to find a new house
and the right 'burb.

2043
01:37:13,206 --> 01:37:15,001
<i>You got this vision
of your dream home.</i>

2044
01:37:15,105 --> 01:37:17,072
<i>But then it literally
turned to shit.</i>

2045
01:37:17,245 --> 01:37:19,154
<i>And then there's the amount
of people that you have</i>

2046
01:37:19,178 --> 01:37:22,043
to make appointments
with to even see a house.

2047
01:37:22,146 --> 01:37:24,355
You're bringing the kids
to all these houses,

2048
01:37:24,459 --> 01:37:26,875
<i>and oof, then
there's a gut check.</i>

2049
01:37:27,013 --> 01:37:29,050
<i>Does it even feel like a home?</i>

2050
01:37:29,395 --> 01:37:33,399
And after all that, oh my God, don't
even get me started on the paperwork.

2051
01:37:33,502 --> 01:37:36,954
It's insane the amount of paperwork
you have to try and buy a house.

2052
01:37:37,058 --> 01:37:39,370
<i>So, you want to know what 'burb?</i>

2053
01:37:41,614 --> 01:37:43,167
This is it.

2054
01:37:46,067 --> 01:37:51,141
You can't say that
[laughs] if it's not true.

2055
01:37:53,626 --> 01:37:57,595
Look, I know that I
cannot live with you.

2056
01:37:58,976 --> 01:38:01,427
<i>But I also know that
we have to be close by,</i>

2057
01:38:02,911 --> 01:38:05,396
Because I want our kids
to grow up together.

2058
01:38:06,466 --> 01:38:07,466
Like how we did.

2059
01:38:08,020 --> 01:38:09,262
<i>[sighs]</i>

2060
01:38:10,643 --> 01:38:12,714
Is three blocks okay?

2061
01:38:12,817 --> 01:38:14,509
I mean, does that work for you?

2062
01:38:14,889 --> 01:38:17,961
[laughs] I think I
can make it work.

2063
01:38:20,135 --> 01:38:22,068
<i>I love you.</i>
- I love you too.

2064
01:38:26,141 --> 01:38:28,626
So I'm going to be over there.

2065
01:38:28,730 --> 01:38:31,940
And when I need something,
I barely have to call.

2066
01:38:32,044 --> 01:38:33,838
I'm just popping by.

2067
01:38:34,322 --> 01:38:37,266
You should let me know before you come so
we can make sure Marty's wearing pants.

2068
01:38:37,290 --> 01:38:39,120
When I need something lifted.

2069
01:38:39,223 --> 01:38:41,363
I'm texting Marty, I
can go, I can skip you.

2070
01:38:41,467 --> 01:38:44,159
I might see you on
a Monday afternoon.

2071
01:38:44,263 --> 01:38:46,851
I might see you late Monday
night, that same Monday.

2072
01:38:46,955 --> 01:38:48,681
And I would love that.

2073
01:38:48,853 --> 01:38:52,788
So I guess it's just, uhm,
a casual see you later?

2074
01:38:52,892 --> 01:38:53,904
<i>[Bloods - Thinking Of
You Thinking Of Me plays]</i>

2075
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:55,032
Yeah.

2076
01:38:56,033 --> 01:38:57,897
That's it.
- That's it.

2077
01:38:58,001 --> 01:39:01,418
- You love me.
- I love you, and I'm... I'm gonna see you later.

2078
01:39:01,521 --> 01:39:02,591
<i>[laughs]</i>

2079
01:39:05,801 --> 01:39:07,044
<i>[squeals, laughs]</i>

2080
01:39:07,838 --> 01:39:09,253
[moans happily]

2081
01:39:15,604 --> 01:39:17,330
[screams happily]

2082
01:39:38,869 --> 01:39:41,182
<i>[music continues]</i>

2083
01:41:32,741 --> 01:41:34,881
<i>[music fades]</i>

2084
01:41:42,026 --> 01:41:44,098
<i>[mellow music plays]</i>